My Discovery: life

Showing posts with label life. Show all posts

Tuesday, November 3, 2015

Grace for Rest

2015.10.21: Grace for Rest

2:21am – 2:31am

Blessings to God. He gave me grace today. Right now, I’m also listening to Christian music. Music from before the Army. Music from during the Army. And music from after the Army. Music from Ignite. So many musical influences in my life.

I asked for a lighter burden because I cannot handle the stress. I was almost close to quitting. To resigning. That call center job, it’s just too difficult and stressful for me. But, I was able, with God, no, with God I was able, more credit to God and less to me, to still have that job. My plan now is to continue to go to college and earn my second degree in computer science. I must never stop growing. I must never stop striving. I don’t care about my circumstances. God will find a way.

But even with the lighter load, it wasn’t as light as I expected. I wanted only 4 hours a day for work but instead, I got 6. I wanted Wednesdays off but instead, I have to wait for at least a few weeks before I will be able to change my schedule to having Wednesdays and Saturdays off, working from 2-8pm. This is good news. I will be able to attend both Sundays and Wednesdays supernatural services. The only thing is I won’t be able to attend the HOP and the Fridays youth service. I also enjoy having the two days off spaced. Having them together limits the therapeutic healing for me.

So, to write every day like my aunt suggested, this is my entry for today.

I must still seek God and follow my “experiment.” Three strikes and I haven’t messed up yet. --------------------------------------------------------------------------- But, I have been spending time in the “gray areas”. I have been spending time on politics and about Russia, China, and the United States military-wise. Why do I waste so much time on those things? I should just seek God. God will take care of China, Russia, and the United States. And Israel.

Thank you God.

The Experiment

[Edited for Public] 2015.10.19: The Experiment

11:48pm – 12:16pm

My aunt told me that I should write a journal daily, so here it is. Maybe I should write daily now. I mean I used to write a lot but not anymore. Not when.. my faith became weak. Not when trails and tribulations ceased a little. I mean my difficulties still persist. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Nothing in this world can truly satisfy me. ----------------- ------------------------------------------------------------------- Then what is God’s will for my life? Is it to have customers yelling at me and hating me everyday? Is that what my life is for? My aunt told me I should find a happy job. A job that makes me happy. Not a job where I deal with sadness and gloom. Where the best I can do is a draw. No, a draw is not a win. A draw, where I only have one life, one chance, is a lose. Maybe I should quit my job so I can continue to further my education. I mean, if I can’t make lots of money, then I should at least have lots of education and knowledge. No, well, kind of true. I should just focus on seeking God. But I suck at it. I feel I just can’t do it. I could be close, I can see it. I can see myself seeking God and being close to Him but I just can’t reach it. This is what I should do. Maybe I should just quit everything that is not necessary and just seek God. I wonder what may happen if I do it.

My strategy, my plan against customers, or rather to defend myself against them is to pray for them. Prayer is the artillery. Then, I’ll just do what I can do to prepare myself. The horse is ready for battle. Then, the battle will belong to the Lord. What can I do then, with customers who are still mean to me? Should I take revenge? No, rather, I should use that as a motivation, a boost, to seek God more.

My life has changed, not for the better, I feel, but for the worse. How worse? I’m not sure. I crave chicken nuggets, cheese cake, pizza, and what not. But, these things, in the end, won’t really satisfy me. I feel stuck. I feel like I lost. If I’m not going anywhere then I’m wasting time. I don’t want to just make this moderate or low income job and save my money until I die. My life is meant for greatness but I feel my life is nothing at all. I carry no influence. I have no authority. I have no power. And I seek God. The logical conclusion then, is to conclude that seeking God has no power, has no hope. But no, God is the God of hope. Then why then am I still so powerless? No, forget it. I already chose God and I will die with God, ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Regardless, I must pray. Prayer is where I get most of my power from. I find in my life that I get most of my influence in prayer, behind the scenes. Without prayer, if it is just people, then I am nothing. Why can’t I be a general? What can’t God make me a ruler or a leader or a king? Or a general, or a trusted advisor. Why can’t God make me become these things? Why am I just a nobody working at a low-paying job barely getting by? -------------------------------------------------------------------- because I have foresight. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------And God will be the judge.

---------------------------------------------------------------------- He is the only reason. I could care less if other people are less than me. No, I will not compare myself to who is less but to who is greater. But of course, I will submit to God. The only thing that keeps me going is my ability to pray and be close to God. ----------------------------------------------

I don’t have a girlfriend -------------------------------- I don’t have any social networks of significant extent. ------------------

My life, it is so unfair. I know, other people are going to attack me on this. Call me complaining. But look, I really never had a chance in life. When I was 18, I still had the mentality and life-skills of a 13 year-old. So many basic skills in life I couldn’t do. --------------------------------------------- Values and traits and social skills that I lack. And now, I am semi-independent. I say semi because I probably will never be fully independent. I will never be able to live without God. Even now, when I have my own room, my own car, my own blah blah blah, I am still not completely independent. I am much more independent than in the past, but I’m not there yet.

What can I hope for? What can I look forward to? The only thing I can look forward to is God. Is prayer. But perhaps prayer is like social work. Anybody can do it. You don’t need a degree for that. You may not need a degree, but you still need God. And his gift, and his mercy, and his talent. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- This is what I’m going to do from now on. And I must do it. Aside from Clash of Clans, which is a game I still can’t quit even though I just started like two months ago. I will seek God. Any other unnecessary thing will be destroyed. I’m going to try this experiment for a month, to 11/20/2015 and see if it works. Let me test and see that the Lord is good. That he will take care of me. This will be my vow ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Should I do this? Yes. No. Maybe so. I want to do it, but I feel I just can’t. Fine, I’ll give myself three chances. Three strikes. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Then, should I do this? What about China? Who cares about China. That is just a game. And my life is not a game.

How can I relieve stress? How can I talk to customers? I don’t. I don’t know. I’m still confused and like a child. I’m just going to pray and seek God. -------------------------------------------------- I’m doing a 30-day relentless. Anything unnecessary must be cast aside and just enjoy the pleasure of seeking God. I’m going to start right now and see how far three strikes will get me. This will not be a vow but an experiment. -------------------------------------------------------- May God be my judge. May God be with me.

Thursday, September 17, 2015

Spiritual Warfare (NES, PC game, 1992)

2015.9.17: Spiritual Warfare (NES, PC game, 1992)

11:44am – 12:55pm

One memorable game from my childhood is this Spiritual Warfare game published by Wisdom Tree in 1992. The goal of this game is to evangelize people by throwing the fruits of the Spirit at them and to defeat the various mini-bosses (which is always a challenge), and finally, Satan. You win the game when you saved the whole city. As always, I’m into these RPG/Action-type games. Screenshots of the game can be found at the end of this blog.

A concept I remembered that is important for the Christian walk is endurance. Just as we need physical endurance to finish a race or to exert our body for an extended period of time, we need spiritual/soulical endurance to handle the stresses of life and to follow God’s principles in this world.

One of the key factors that got me through my Army experience is realizing that I need endurance and then focusing on this attribute. Recently, however, I find myself lacking this trait. When I drive on the street and drivers do an injustice on me, I get angry. When life becomes hard, I want to take the easy way out and I become frustrated. When people close to me say or do something that is mean, I get offended. I would cry out to God, yes, but I would cry out to Him for justice, and maybe vengeance and revenge. I believe measured justice is ok (Matthew 5:38), but I also need to pray that that punishment can bring that person to God. But, after talking to my mentor, maybe I shouldn’t even think about justice. God will bring justice anyways because it is in his character. What I should do is to pray for their salvation and forgive them.

I realized that those symptoms of anger, frustration, and offense are signs that my spiritual endurance is weakening. My spirit is under stress but I don’t have enough “muscle” to endure it. So, I am going to focus on this attribute again.

In the game Spiritual Warfare, “endurance” or “hit points” is measured by the amount of hearts the character has. I used to think of that as physical hit points. Once those bad guys beat you up too much, you lose the game. But, now, I realized that those hit points are not physical in nature, but spiritual. I will get hurt; I will get hit; but will I continue to evangelize? In spiritual warfare, for both definitions, you lose when you give up.

God, increase my faith and endurance so I can have more hearts. And, in the morning, fill those hearts up (or me up) so I can endure the difficulties of life [and the Christian walk].

P.S.

If you want to play and download the game: http://gamefabrique.com/download/spiritual-warfare/

Spyware checked (using Spybot)

Note: For Windows 10, set the program file to Windows 95 compatibility, disable display scaling, and run as admin on the “Compatibility” tab in the “Properties” window. Once you run the game, open it using the “Genesis” option in the “File” menu and then press Esc for full screen. :)

Some screenshots of the game:

Theme song for this blog:

Thursday, March 5, 2015

3/5/2015

3/5/2015: (A World without Hope)

End: 3:51pm

In season 4, episode 19 of the X-Files titled “Synchrony,” Jason, Lisa, and Dr. Yonechi discovered time travel, or should I say, will discover time travel. It sounds awesome, right? Many times, humankind doesn’t anticipate the consequences of technology. Such is the theme of this episode. The elder Jason, the one from the future, tried to destroy his work. He told the younger Jason that this invention makes it “a world without history, without hope, where anyone can know everything that will ever happen. I’ve seen that world.”

Let me speculate this for a bit. What does he mean that he has seen that world, a hopeless world? If I know my future, if we all know our futures, then its predestination. If I know I will eventually be a math teacher or a social worker and my future child will go into computer science, then great! But let’s add socioeconomic status here. What if a disadvantaged person, someone from the lower or underclass were to be able to see his or her future? What will their future be like or their children? Most likely, using statistics, many of them will have a bleak future. Many of them will continue to be in a cycle of poverty. What would you do if you are in their situation? What would you do if you know that three years from now, you will be homeless and in six years you will be gunned down on the street? And three of your children will be dead in seven years. Many of them will probably choose to die. Why live knowing that your future is bleak?

And if they choose to end the cycle of poverty by death, it will affect everybody else. The example I gave doesn’t have to be that severe. What if people know that they will live the remainder of their lives as a wage slave? This will be a world without hope. Once the lower classes extinguish themselves, the upper classes will start to collapse, too, since they need the services and labor from the lower classes to maintain their status. People need hope to live.

This scenario assumes that time can only go forward, not back. If time travel can go backwards as well, then many people may want to redo their lives and not make the same mistakes again. I would like to do the same. :p But this possibility then opens up a much bigger reality. If everyone were to go back in time to correct their mistakes, there may be parallel universes. Somewhere, I may be a general Steven, a scientist Steven, a pilgrim Steven, or even a hacker Steven. Ok, it’s getting too confusing. Time travel is probably not ever going to be feasible.

If there is a God (of the Bible), and I believe so, then it won’t be feasible because a man reaps what he sows (Gal. 6:7). What give us hope; what gives me hope is the hope of eternal life, that as long as we try to love and follow Him, we will have a great future.

Wednesday, March 4, 2015

Jobs in heaven

2015.2.26: Jobs in heaven

S: 12:57am

E: 1:38am

I haven’t written anything for a long time. There are a lot of reasons but I’m going to skip them.

My main concern for this entry is about my situation.

I feel this world is really like a caste system. There are really no equal opportunities. Getting a job depends on who you know. Oh how I wish both the rich and poor have an equal chance of getting a job based on their dedication. Not experience. Experience makes things unfair. It will not be unfair if there are entry-level jobs that can cover experience but there are none, essentially none. All the jobs, it seems, requires you to know somebody. Requiring people to know somebody is unfair because not everyone receives the same opportunities to meet people. The privileged will meet more privileged and the poor and underclass will meet more poor and the underclassed.

I feel so hopeless. I’ll never get a job that shows my true worth. I probably won’t get a job. The world doesn’t understand that people need jobs to survive. Why so much competition? Why can’t there be guaranteed jobs for people who can’t find any other jobs? That would be a start for a better society.

I feel the kingdom of darkness and the ruler of this world wants me to feel hopeless, depressed, to wallow in self-pity, and what not. But although I am suffering from these symptoms because I am human, I have emotions, I still will remember the One who created me and loves me. Just because darkness is all around me doesn’t not mean God is dead. No. Just because I can’t see God or his help does not mean there is nothing I can do.

I know God is love and He is the one who loves me. Even if God never loves me again or gives me hope in this world again, still will I seek him. I will say that I am doing no wrong and I am making no mistake if I raise my hands to God. As long as I seek God, contrary to what this world is telling me, I will have a better result. If that result is still death, then at least it is death with seeking God.

I do not know how my Lord will be able to help me. The odds are too stacked against me. I lack experience. I lack knowing the right people. I may even lack some of the skills. But, it doesn’t matter. This world wants us to think that it matters. To achieve them is unachievable. Yes, they essentially are. What matters is securing my eternal future by seeking and loving God. Even if my life here on Earth will end, seeking Him is one of the best things anyone can do. There is no such thing as too much of him. There is no toxicity level with God. If someone spends 100% of his or her time with God, I count that person blessed.

Right now, I feel there is no hope for me. I am being realistic. A resume doesn’t cover everything about me. There is more to me than a sheet of paper. But most don’t know that. They judge what they see.

Perhaps it is a blessing that finding a job is so momentous for me. It is a gift that stones are placed in my way. I am starving, dying of thirst, to reach the finish line. But what finish line? The world’s? I shall stop this race and pray and seek God. I know contrary to what this world is telling me or what I am seeing, God can do anything. He can lift a homeless man or woman up and have that person become a president, even the president of his or her country. I believe that. In the end, it is not man who decides, but God. It is not man who determines his or her future, but God. A man, regardless of his or her station in life, is only measured on one thing: how much that person loves God and through God, loves people. That’s all. If society really loves their fellowman, finding a job should be as plentiful as the streets of gold at heaven. There should be employers begging people to come to this job. People will not look, indeed, it will be already there!

I guess this life I live. I most likely will not live long. Let not my eyes deceive me. Let not the pleasures of this world confound me. My life is but a breath. I say, it is blessing to die because I can no longer survive if I spend my last days with God. And because I do not know when my time will come, should not all my time be based for Him?

If things continue in its natural state; if it continues in its natural law, then I will die soon and be with God. I write “be with God” because that may or may not happen. But what I will do, what will happen, is that I do my best to be with Him. The secret of life is this: It is better to die than to live and see pain. The joys of eternal rest outweighs the burdens of daily life. Living may be a curse while death may be a release. I have still not caught the essence of this. Happier is the one who dies than the one who lives but suffers.

But, to end this, I do know one thing. Hope comes from God. Love comes from God. Grace comes from God. Joy, happiness, prosperity, peace, and everything good, even sex, comes from God. The one who seeks God is like one who is trying to cheat in this life. This world hates cheaters, it hates those who circumvent these worldly ways. The cheat in this life is knowing God and knowing him deeply, and loving him through life or in death.

Thursday, January 8, 2015

The Benefits of Investing in Commodities through Exchange Traded Funds (ETF’s)

Source: http://i.telegraph.co.uk/

Part of my purpose in life is to help others. I think, even if I don’t gain from helping others, it is still worth it. I help others because God helps me and that I must decrease and He must increase. Anyone with good intentions and willing to learn should help others.

That said, I think there are many benefits in investing in commodities through exchange traded funds (ETF’s). I’m glad investors have options to invest in ETF’s. It gives them an opportunity to diversify and it is much more feasible. Imagine buying physical gold or silver and choosing to sell at a local pawn shop. The money you get will not even be close to the market value. But on ETF’s, the buying price and the selling price are closely matched. It is also safer. Having actual commodities on hand might require additional security. Having stocks in a fund that holds them don’t.

Here are some additional reasons why investors (and people should invest) in commodities:

1) Beats inflation

A dollar back in the 1980 is not the same buck as it is today. In fact it is worth $2.87 in 2014 (Source: http://data.bls.gov/cgi-bin/cpicalc.pl?cost1=1&year1=1980&year2=2014). Every year, there is about a 3% inflation rate. That means the money we have in savings and banks, which generate hardly any interest, is decreasing in value. You lose money if you don’t spend it or invest it. Especially with the Federal Reserve pumping $50 billion dollars per month into the money supply.

The price of everything is going up, however, if you invest your money, which is not backed by anything of value (fiat currency), into something of value, such as oil, gold, silver, something tangible, then that commodity, along with other factors, will be pegged to inflation.

One concept many people don’t realize is there are two ways the government can generate revenue. One is to raise taxes, a highly visible and unpopular method. The other is to increase the inflation rate through the Federal Reserve, a stealthier and less noticeable approach. Both results in a decrease in buying power.

2) Commodities will always have value / won’t go bankrupt / safer than companies

My personal opinion is this: That no matter how much each of us researches on a company, which is time-consuming in itself, we will never know everything about a company because we are not insiders. At any given time, a seemingly healthy company, although unlikely, may go bankrupt. The accounting arm may cook their books. There are numerous ways a company can do to give an impression that it is strong. I’m not saying don’t invest in companies; there is a proper way to do so.

Commodities, on the other hand, won’t go bankrupt. Since the company is the commodity itself, it will never go out of business. Well, unless people decide all of a sudden that gold is worthless, but that is probably not going to happen. Commodities will always have value. Oil is needed to run the engines of modern society. Gold and silver, which is not only valuable since ancient times, are needed in various industrial applications. People need to eat; Wheat will always have value. Investing in commodities is much safer than investing in companies and it can also generate great returns if invested wisely.

Investing in commodities is also better than gambling. I don’t really see it as gambling in the traditional sense because commodities will always have value and its value will always be adjusted for inflation. I see it as another bank account, although more volatile. And even if you “lose” in this gamble, you don’t really lose much. If a person gambles in Vegas and lose, for example, that person will probably lose all their investment and the odds are for the house. But if you “lose” in commodities, which is just buying at its peak, you probably will still retain 80% or 70% of its value. Stupid people invest in lotteries and casinos. Smart people invest in stocks and commodities.

My picks for commodities

The adage “buy low and sell high” rings true in commodities. It is poor advice for company shares because a company that does poorly will tend to do poorly while the company that tends to do well will continue to do well.

In general, since we don’t know the times (only God knows), the best time to buy any commodity is when it’s at its low. And the lower the commodity gets, the more you should buy. Don’t sell out, don’t bail out! If it’s at its lowest historical point, it is buy buy buy. Be patient. Eventually, the commodity will recover and you will get the returns. Remember, commodities will never go bankrupt.

With that said, these are my choices for the beginning of 2015:

Source: http://businessdayghana.com

1) Oil

Principle ETF: USO (United States Oil Fund)

Expense ratio: 0.45%

Average monthly volume: 24.7 million

(Source: http://etfdb.com/etf/USO)

Oil is now at or near historical lows. It was more than $100 a barrel in 2011 but that is now halved. A reason for the decrease in oil prices is competition from oil shale companies. OPEC recently decided to decrease the price of oil in an attempt to drive those shale companies, many which is based in these U.S. states, out of business. It costs more to get oil from shale then from petroleum.

Source: http://d.ibtimes.co.uk

2) Gold and silver

Principle ETF for Gold: IAU (COMEX Gold Trust)

Expense ratio: 0.25%

Average monthly volume: 5.6 million

(Source: http://etfdb.com/etf/IAU/)

Principle ETF for Silver: SLV (Silver Trust)

Expense ratio: 0.50%

Average monthly volume: 8.7 million

(Source: http://etfdb.com/etf/SLV/)

Gold and silver have both seen a recent decrease in prices from its peak in 2011. Traditionally, people invest in precious metals when they feel that the national economy or the financial systems of the government is poor or unsafe. With inflation at 3% a year, our high US national debt, and our USD currency no longer backed by gold or silver, gold and silver will generally continue to increase.

Figure 1: Historical Graph of Gold

Source: http://goldprice.org/gold-price-history.html

Source: http://griles.files.wordpress.com

3) Your eternal future

I saved the best for last. The best investment anyone can make is for their eternal future. Let me ask you this question: If you were to die today, where would you go? Heaven or hell? In the long-run, these investments are nothing. We will be walking on streets of gold. We won’t need oil to move around. You say science can’t prove the Bible, well, your intuition can. Science can only measure three-dimensional space (or if you include thoughts, feelings, psychology, then four). God exists in more dimensions (some say seven) because he is omnipotent, omniscient, and omni-everything. He exists outside of time. Just because science can’t prove Him doesn’t mean he doesn’t exist. In fact, he prefers it that way, for without faith, it is impossible to please God (Hebrews 11:6). You can’t put God on a chart. So test and see that the Lord is good (Psalm 34:8). You will find that the God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob is the true God and the God who loves us.

Monday, December 30, 2013

Soldier Diaries [Discovery]

Saturday, December 21, 2013

2013.12.21 [Discovery / Improving Efficiency and Learnings]

2013.12.21:

E: 5:55pm

First, I would like to write about something that is bothering me acutely. Many times, it seems no matter how hard I try, I still lose and I still suck. The past few days, I have been investing my life in this strategy game. Yet, no matter how hard I tried, I still lost. I followed advice and guides and did what I was supposed to do. I used strategic placement. I implemented all my tactics and strategy, and yet, there is no way I could have beat the game. I guess there are games out there, I guess there are trials in life, that no matter how hard I try, I just couldn’t win. Win as in the earthly sense. I can do my best in something and still lose miserably.

For example, like today. Today, I donated plasma! Well, not quite. Yesterday, a caller from United Blood Services called me about the need for blood and asked if I was interested. I was, because I want to help people and they were persistent. I went to the blood center at noontime to check-in. While I was there, I noticed an easel-board at the entrance with a chart of the blood types that are needed and the type of “blood” that is in demand. For A+, which is my blood type, I noticed they needed platelets or something, not whole blood, which I typically donate. So, I told my nurse that I can volunteer for any procedure. Whatever is in demand, I can help fill it. So, she placed me to donate plasma. I’ve never donated plasma before but I have done some research into how it works. The initial assessment is fine. My blood is fine. My iron level, the part that might disqualify me, was at 15 g/dL. Yes! I’m glad I took my multi-supplements. My pulse is good. Ok, so everything is good. I just told my nurse that I felt a little nervous, but I always feel nervous every time when I donate because of the needle. After a brief wait, they hooked me up on a plasma donating machine. I asked if there are two needles, but they told me it will just be one. The machine will take my blood, filter the plasma, and return everything back through the same needle. Again, they asked me if I’m okay because I looked nervous. I told myself that even if I’m afraid, I’m still going to donate and help! I used my military training to motivate me to carry through this. I don’t care what happens, I’m going to donate plasma. I’m going to give them a Christmas present. Well, I was about to tell the staff that, but I decided to wait until the present is done before telling it. I’m glad I waited.

At first, everything went well. The machine started to take blood from my body. I pumped the ball once every five or so seconds. The first half of the cycle is done. Then, the machine started to return the blood back to my bloodstream. For the first three-quarters of that round, everything was normal. I did feel a slight tingle on my arm but I figured it is because my skin is more sensitive (I can feel the pain of the needle going into my arm) and that my nervousness is making the blood return a little more difficult. I couldn’t help my nervousness. I feel the fear but I also feel the desire. I tried to be calm, but I still felt apprehensive. On one part of the blood return, I actually giggled silently a bit. The tingling feeling tickles. As it was finishing up, a nurse came up and asked how am I doing? I was just about to answer “good” when my arm in the needle area started to hurt. I hesitated because I thought the pain would go away. It didn’t, it got worse. I told her “the needle is starting to hurt.” The pain intensified in just a few seconds so I escalated my dialogue. “It hurts, it hurts.” And then a few seconds later, “Ouch!” The nurse came, checked my arm and turned off the machine. This male nurse told me the needle moved and wasn’t in my bloodstream anymore. So, the machine was giving blood into my tissue which caused the pain. He told me there is going to be bruising. I told the nurse if they are going to continue. He said I’m done. I asked if the plasma donation was successful. He shook his head. They don’t want to risk getting my arm worse. I felt bad. All this wasted investment on me. All these sterile medical bags and instruments wasted because of me. I told him “sorry” and he said it’s fine, it happens. “I should have donated whole blood instead” I told him, “I’m used to that.” I felt the donation failed because of a combination of my nervousness (even though I got it under control) and my small vein size (compared to other males my age). This was a frustrating experience. I want to help people and I try. I got so far but I still caused more harm than good.

After this, I went to Wal-Mart to buy some slime for my car tires, a battery, a portable start-up charger, some college-ruled paper, and Christmas lights. I wore my jacket and covered up my green bandage. I don’t want people to see it. They may think I’m a hero because I donated blood but, in reality, I failed. I only came out of the store with the slime because I also did a bit of comparison shopping on the Internet and I found all the other items are cheaper there. Except for the college paper. I couldn’t find any college-ruled paper! And not just at Wal-Mart, at the PX as well, multiple times. I don’t understand why these mega-stores don’t have college-lined paper in stock. Oh well, I can buy a case of 36 packs of 150-sheets for $1 a pack online. That’s probably more college-ruled paper than I would ever need.

Monday, October 21, 2013

10/21/2013: The Real Positive Qualities Chart / Guitar [Bright Ideas / Discovery]

10/21/2013: The Real Positive Qualities Chart / Guitar

S: 9:47pm

E: 10:53pm

Note: To see the small-print, drag the picture to the top to make a new tab.

So, as promised in my last blog, here is the Positive Qualities Chart developed by Jim Downs. Let me retype some of the instructions they gave me:

[From handout]

Purpose & Philosophy: Whatever you focus on, you personify. Whatever you experience becomes a part of your being. You can become better than you are by choosing and acting on your positive ideas and ideals.

History of the Chart: Love, truth, beauty, and goodness are the foundation upon which all qualities are build and the culmination of all reality. If these are the central values, what others are important and what would be the relationship among them? The Chart and book are my answers to these questions.

Facts: There are 1,000 qualities on the Chart which were taken from a list of over 2,300. The Chart took six years to catalog, organize, and design. Each quality has a wedge of qualities situated in front or behind appropriate related qualities. These relationships flow out from and into the center – a sort of visual thesaurus.

[From brochure]

Positive Qualities are the basic and universal building blocks of life. Being positive enhances your physical, emotional, mental and spiritual well-being. We each embody a wide range of qualities and you’ll be pleasantly surprised at how many of these gifts you already possess. Growth is assured with your conscious, sincere, intelligent and playful effort. Keep up the good work.

Acquiring qualities creates a feeling of real accomplishment and gives a genuine boost to your self-esteem. Share the powerful and tender force of Love by your willingness to understand and sympathize with others.

As you look at the chart, identify with a quality and see yourself experiencing it in your life. For example, if you need humor, open yourself to the lighter side in your daily events. Or, picture a situation and imagine what the ideal collection of qualities should be as you live out the scene.

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Ahh, too much typing. Ok, so there is the gist of it. I can type fast, around 80-90 wpm average, but right now I’m running out of time. Tomorrow may be another long day like today.

Before I get to my happenings today, I want to talk about the chart. I do find this chart useful to keep track of my personal growth. As you can see from the big picture, I have it taped to the wall. The ones with a black dot are the ones I feel I have. I am not done evaluating myself yet. Best of all, having this chart serves as a visual reminder to improve myself. I recommend everyone good to download the picture and to look at the values that you share.

Ok, about today. Whew. I was supposed to get my blue autistic guitar two days go but when the USPS came, twice, there was no one to sign-in or track the package. I was so pissed. I was in my room at that time! The thing is, I live in the back of the house, with separate rooms. Therefore, I couldn’t hear whether the post-person knocked on the front door or not. The only way for me to receive the package is to physically be at the front porch and wait for the delivery-person to arrive, which is just what I did. I set my alarm to 8:30am because that was about the time when the person came the first time. I waited outside from 8:45 to around 9:45 and no one showed up. I had my fold-up ACU Army chair with books and my mp3 player. However, I spent most of that time praying, singing, and walking around. Waiting outside for people to come reminds me of a few memories from the Army. In the Army, we too have to wait outside a lot. I miss those times. I remember once when I was in Kuwait, I was one of the three soldiers selected to go to another U.S. base to “watch” the equipment until the forward unit who is supposed to relieve us arrived. So here I was, in a sea of military trucks and Humvees just standing there waiting for my shift to close so the next soldier can relieve me. I would have my cellphone ready in case something happens. And I would also have the same field chair with my ACU backpack next to it. I would walk around and sing, pray, read the Bible, and eat. The lot where I patrol is pretty big so I have to walk a bit to make sure everything is covered. I also enjoy the feeling of being by myself. I imagine once the stillness ends and the forward unit arrives, there will be a locust of activity where I stand. I actually have a picture of myself.

Here I am, in a special mission. This is a picture taken of me during night-time in my quarters typing, you guessed it, a blog. We also spend a lot of time transporting materials around the site.

Anyways, back to my story. So the mail-person didn’t come. I figured he or she will come again around noontime, because that was when that person came the second time. I texted S (inital) that I wouldn’t be able to attend the prayer meeting because I have to “watch” for the mail-person. So I waited outside again from 11:30am to around 12:30pm and still the cavalry didn’t come. Using the journey-approach, I took measures and biked to the UPS store in downtown El Paso. The staff told me, because of a special arrangement, my mail is with the USPS. So, I biked back and drove to the post office where my zip code is at, which is pretty far away. I got there and the staff there told me they moved my area to another post office. So I drove there and the staff then told me because the sender designated it as a business address (which it’s not), the package is still en route with the mail-person. Therefore, they don’t have it. Oh my goodness. Luckily, and I forgot to mention it, I made a note to the UPS deliverer (forgot to change to USPS) to call me to verify the package. I’m so glad I made that note because while I was buying groceries at Wal-Mart near-by, the delivery-person texted me and told me the package is at the front of the house. I’m so glad when I heard that. All this work, all this effort, for nothing. Well, not really nothing, I still learn some values and gained some experience.

I ordered the acoustic guitar in part because I wanted to help play for Intervarsity. The members there encouraged me to join them. However, I might have trouble because their practice session conflicts with my volunteering time and I may be too busy to help. I still want to remain optimistic so I brought the guitar. I also already have an electric guitar, unfortunately, I realized its downfalls. I thought the electric guitar would be the jack-of-all trades because with the amp, I can adjust the volume to however I want. I developed a portable system where I put the amp in my backpack and connect the wires to my guitar. There, I can walk and play and sing. The downfall to my system is that it’s not portable enough. I have classes all day (on Thursdays) and I bicycle to school. By the time I’m done with my classes, I’m already tired. I don’t want to lug a heavy electric guitar with a loaded backpack to school. With my acoustic guitar, I can just use that as a backpack and bike my way to school. Maybe I made a mistake. Maybe I’m just being lazy. I just wasted $35 on that guitar. Oh, did I tell you I only spent $35 on it? I was comparison shopping and I found this guitar on Amazon. It is both cheap and of good quality, based on numerous customer reviews. I got the guitar today and it is beautiful. It also comes with a flimsy bag, a pitch-pipe, and a spare set of strings. I could take a picture of myself with it and post it on Facebook sometime.

Ok, so there is my daily double. I want to close this entry so I have a bit of time for myself, God, and to prepare to sleep.