Grace for Rest

2015.10.21: Grace for Rest

2:21am – 2:31am

Blessings to God.  He gave me grace today.  Right now, I’m also listening to Christian music.  Music from before the Army.  Music from during the Army.  And music from after the Army.  Music from Ignite.  So many musical influences in my life. 

I asked for a lighter burden because I cannot handle the stress.  I was almost close to quitting.  To resigning.  That call center job, it’s just too difficult and stressful for me.  But, I was able, with God, no, with God I was able, more credit to God and less to me, to still have that job.  My plan now is to continue to go to college and earn my second degree in computer science.  I must never stop growing.  I must never stop striving.  I don’t care about my circumstances.  God will find a way. 

But even with the lighter load, it wasn’t as light as I expected.  I wanted only 4 hours a day for work but instead, I got 6.  I wanted Wednesdays off but instead, I have to wait for at least a few weeks before I will be able to change my schedule to having Wednesdays and Saturdays off, working from 2-8pm.  This is good news.  I will be able to attend both Sundays and Wednesdays supernatural services.  The only thing is I won’t be able to attend the HOP and the Fridays youth service.  I also enjoy having the two days off spaced.  Having them together limits the therapeutic healing for me. 

So, to write every day like my aunt suggested, this is my entry for today. 

I must still seek God and follow my “experiment.”  Three strikes and I haven’t messed up yet.  ---------------------------------------------------------------------------  But, I have been spending time in the “gray areas”.  I have been spending time on politics and about Russia, China, and the United States military-wise.  Why do I waste so much time on those things?  I should just seek God.  God will take care of China, Russia, and the United States.  And Israel. 

Thank you God.  

To Rent or Buy: A Comprehensive Report and Analysis

2015.9.26: To Rent or Buy: A Comprehensive Report and Analysis

S: 12:30pm – 1:44pm +30 minutes for map

Location:

Location, location, location.  If I choose the wrong location, then all the other factors are mostly meaningless.  I want a location that is convenient for three of my major activities: worshipping, working, and shopping.  Since I have a bias on God, I placed more value on the location of my church, followed by my workplace, and finally, where I shop.  The squares are the ideal zones I am considering.  

To Buy:

+ Supernatural Church

            The church I go to is a very special church; It is an end-time, supernatural church.  I thought about moving out of El Paso but my mentor told me that since we are living in the end-times, we need to attend a supernatural church, which I agree.

+ Can form a HOP

            In addition to my church, by buying, I may even be able to form my own House of Peace or HOP. 

+ Can earn additional income by renting to others / help others by giving them shelter

            Please also read “Paying interest if I buy” note.  If I do this right, I can have renters in my house which can help me pay for my mortgage.  Additionally, I might be able to invite them to my church.  Also, and I had this idea since high school, one way I was thinking about helping the homeless is not just by giving them money or giving them a fish, but by housing them, taking care of them, and developing them so they can become self-sufficient.  The idealist side of me.  It’s far-fetched, but still possible.

+ Home ownership

            Owning a home makes me feel good.  I can have more freedom to do what I want with it, I do have big plans for my future house.  For one, I can plant fruit trees, just like what my dad did at his house in Los Angeles.  Also, I realize that any money I put in, whether though mortgage or improvements, goes to my house.  Of course, mortgage is more important and I will focus on that first.  I am also even thinking about dedicating a room just for God, like a temple in the old times.

+ VA Home loan advantage

            Can buy at zero-down, preferred rates

To Rent:

+ Desert land

+ Neutral outlook on job employment and salary

            Just found a job at Xerox, so far, it’s OK, enjoy helping people, but not fairly certain whether I will stay at this job.

+ Paying interest if I buy: current market rates for a 30-year loan fixed is about 4.25% (mostly lower but I want to give myself some slack for worse-case scenarios).  This means if I buy a $125,000 house, I pay a total of $221,373.  Finding the difference gives me $96,373 or $267.70 per month of total interest.  However, I do want to note that the average annual U.S. inflation is around 3% a year, so if I pay the $615 monthly payment that is required, I only pay around 1.25% in real interest (or $70 a month).  Obviously, I will get the 30-year fixed.  To note on the $70 a month in real interest, if I just rent out to one person, I am making up more than the difference.

+ Start-up fees.  This includes the commission costs, closing costs, and beginning innovation and maintenance costs.  It’s not as bad because the VA home loan forbids many of the costs but it’s still worth mentioning here.  This, however, happens to every homebuyer.  As for home maintenance, I see myself as a jack-of-all trades guy and if I can find how to do it on google, I most likely should be able to do it.

+ Low cash reserves: I do have some cash reserves, classified, but I feel with my current cash on hand, the safety cushion is a bit low.  It’s like driving behind a car but tailgating with only a 1 or 1.5 second gap.  Increase that to 2 or more seconds and I will feel better (increase current cash reserves by 25%). 

+ My home church may move: The pastors are talking about this a lot and I’m excited!  However, in terms of settling down for a permanent residence, this is not good news as it adds unpredictability. 

+ Student loans and obligations: Have to mention this but it’s not so bad because for student loans, I qualify for income-based repayment which, based from their calculations, I will pay a low amount.  The only other obligation is my universal life insurance indexed.  This is not so bad as the money I put in it will grow, I just need to give it time.  In 10 years, for example, from the average 7.2% return rate, I will break nearly even with my total payments and I can take interest-free loans (although I dare not).  The more time on this one, it may actually be an advantage to buy.

+ Property Tax: If I buy, I almost forgot to include, but I will also need to pay a property tax.  El Paso County in Texas currently has a property tax rate of 2.09%.  This means a $125,000 house will cost $2,612 annually or about $217 per month.  The annual fee reduces the influence of inflation.  This cost is prohibitive if I choose to live alone.  

Overall Prognosis: Rent (80% rent, 20% buy)

 The fact that I feel my cash reserves is low and my home church may change locations is the leading factor for this one.  The fact that I just landed a job with no tenure is also another factor.  Additionally, the property tax in Texas also discourages me from buying until I have enough cash reserves.  Once my church moves, once I increase my cash reserves, and once I feel more comfortable at my workplace, I will be ready to start buying.  By then, it should be 75% buy and 25% rent, with the 25% rent consisting of opportunities of better jobs (but I’m planning to move up), and the fact that El Paso is on unsustainable land.  But God can make springs from desert.

This report, of course, is the product of my analysis and reasoning and is thus, incomplete.  I did receive limited input from my friends and family and the report is influenced by a limited extent.

PS: This report is also incomplete.  It was an outline and I filled must of the body but I don't have time to completely finish it.  Also, much have happened since this report but I still trust in God.

2015.8.21: What God/Satan wants

2015.8.21: What God/Satan wants

11:13pm – 2330  2337 - 0010

Today at Ignite is cramazing.  I’m copying the Geico usage of the word “amazing.”  They are probably still there right now playing human equivalent of bumper cars, but its soccer.  I forgot the terminology.  It’s like soccer but they wear like a huge beach ball.  It’s fun!  My team came up and I took defense.  One of the players started charging at me, I think trying to get me out of the way, but I bend my knee and stood firm.  I did not fall; I only moved back a few steps.  In soccer, in basketball, I find that I’m good at defense.  Maybe in sports.  I remember pissing some people off when I played defense in basketball in the Army. 

But what I really want to write today is the message I learned.  I did not do transcribing today because my mentor told me I should receive.  I still have addiction and sin my life and, if I serve, it will taint the atmosphere.  It’s like “holy fire” and a “strange fire,” my mentor told me.  Until I am delivered and in freedom, I cannot serve.  This is different from the world.  In the world, talent is the only thing that matters.  That and people skills.  But in God’s world, talent and people skills are not enough.  More importantly, I also need a strong and free relationship with God. 

I also forgot to record the audio through my touchphone today.  I typically record, even though it gets noisy, so I can save it in my computer and listen to it later.  But what I took from it is what God wants for me and what Satan wants.  God wants to give us freedom.  Satan wants to keep us in bondage.  Satan wants us to feel guilty, ashamed.  The pastor on the video tonight at CGC said Satan wants you to see how he sees you.  Wow.  So, I can do a little counter-intelligence. 

Many times, I have trouble knowing or seeing what God wants me to do.  My mentor told me if I don’t know my purpose, then I should further God’s purpose, which is to seek Him and evangelize.  But, with today’s message, I forgot the influence of Satan.  I have been seeing myself as what Satan sees me, guilty, hopeless, tired, confused, etc.  I have been doing what Satan wants me to do: wasting time and satisfying my lusts.  So, if I don’t know what God wants me to do, or don’t know exactly, I can look at what Satan wants me to do.  To me, it’s much easier to know what Satan wants me to do than God’s.  So, I can look at that and do the opposite.  For example, Satan wants me to waste my time, feel hopeless, not worship God because I’m too tired or too late or whatever, but I will do the opposite of what he wants.  I will spend my time wisely, in productive things.  I will sing and praise and worship to open doors of hope.  I will not spend my time on games, which is what Satan wants, but on God, which is obviously, what God wants.  He is worthy of all praise. 

I have a job interview at a call center tomorrow.  It might be a temporary job.  You know, I need to humble myself.  I used to think I’m so crazy, that I’m all that.  That I can be a general and play all these computer games and win.  But I failed in having a strong relationship with God.  Sometimes I would compare myself with worldly people and tell God “God, look at these people, they don’t even seek you and they have so much more prosperity than me.”  But God knows my heart; he knows my potential.  He has given me the potential to spend time with Him and I have so far mostly squandered it.  To each measure God gives to a person. 

The root of all sins, my mentor told me, is pride.  And in my case, much of my sin comes from rejection.  I know what to do.

I told my mentor I wanted to go into truck driving, since it’s the only job that’s in demand right now that requires any college degree or just a high school diploma.  All the other jobs, the prospector applies but in truck driving, the employer invites people.  But, if I go into that field, I will be away from church most of the time.  My mentor told me that God wants me to stay at a supernatural church.  We are living in the end times, she told me, and I heartily agree.  I will find a career and a wonderful job in El Paso.  However, I need to seek first the Kingdom of Heaven. 

Satan also wants me to debate and argue with people about religious doctrines and overwhelm myself but no, debating and argumentation cannot change people.  Showing love, supernatural signs and wonders, and God can change people.  I’m not going to stress myself about these things or participating in Christian “debate clubs.”  Pastor Patty asked, “You know why there is so much division in the church?”  Ahh, I forgot her answer, but I think it has something to do with the lack of power in today’s church.  And God wants unity but Satan brings division.  For me, I care less about the means but the end.  The end is the supernatural power of God that can save people.  I don’t want to waste my time arguing whether this point or that point is right or wrong.  It brings anger.  It brings hatred.  It brings controversy.  It brings division.  Just as fire came down on Elijah’s altar instead of Baal’s, just follow God, follow His Holy Spirit.  It’s okay to make theological mistakes, God will bring it to heart when the time comes but just worship God!  1 Corinthians 13:12 “Now we see things imperfectly, like puzzling reflections in a mirror, but then we will see everything with perfect clarity.  All that I know now is partial and incomplete, but then I will know everything completely, just as God now knows me completely.”  Don’t worry about the doctrine.  God will correct each of us in time.  Just worship and seek God through his Holy Spirit.

Aww, too bad I already left that debate group.  I will try to rejoin it just to share the last paragraph and then leave it.  My mentor also told me to keep away from people who cause me to stumble in my walk with God.  I thank God for my family of Christ that care about me and that want to correct me.