2015.8.21: What God/Satan wants

2015.8.21: What God/Satan wants

11:13pm – 2330  2337 - 0010

Today at Ignite is cramazing.  I’m copying the Geico usage of the word “amazing.”  They are probably still there right now playing human equivalent of bumper cars, but its soccer.  I forgot the terminology.  It’s like soccer but they wear like a huge beach ball.  It’s fun!  My team came up and I took defense.  One of the players started charging at me, I think trying to get me out of the way, but I bend my knee and stood firm.  I did not fall; I only moved back a few steps.  In soccer, in basketball, I find that I’m good at defense.  Maybe in sports.  I remember pissing some people off when I played defense in basketball in the Army. 

But what I really want to write today is the message I learned.  I did not do transcribing today because my mentor told me I should receive.  I still have addiction and sin my life and, if I serve, it will taint the atmosphere.  It’s like “holy fire” and a “strange fire,” my mentor told me.  Until I am delivered and in freedom, I cannot serve.  This is different from the world.  In the world, talent is the only thing that matters.  That and people skills.  But in God’s world, talent and people skills are not enough.  More importantly, I also need a strong and free relationship with God. 

I also forgot to record the audio through my touchphone today.  I typically record, even though it gets noisy, so I can save it in my computer and listen to it later.  But what I took from it is what God wants for me and what Satan wants.  God wants to give us freedom.  Satan wants to keep us in bondage.  Satan wants us to feel guilty, ashamed.  The pastor on the video tonight at CGC said Satan wants you to see how he sees you.  Wow.  So, I can do a little counter-intelligence. 

Many times, I have trouble knowing or seeing what God wants me to do.  My mentor told me if I don’t know my purpose, then I should further God’s purpose, which is to seek Him and evangelize.  But, with today’s message, I forgot the influence of Satan.  I have been seeing myself as what Satan sees me, guilty, hopeless, tired, confused, etc.  I have been doing what Satan wants me to do: wasting time and satisfying my lusts.  So, if I don’t know what God wants me to do, or don’t know exactly, I can look at what Satan wants me to do.  To me, it’s much easier to know what Satan wants me to do than God’s.  So, I can look at that and do the opposite.  For example, Satan wants me to waste my time, feel hopeless, not worship God because I’m too tired or too late or whatever, but I will do the opposite of what he wants.  I will spend my time wisely, in productive things.  I will sing and praise and worship to open doors of hope.  I will not spend my time on games, which is what Satan wants, but on God, which is obviously, what God wants.  He is worthy of all praise. 

I have a job interview at a call center tomorrow.  It might be a temporary job.  You know, I need to humble myself.  I used to think I’m so crazy, that I’m all that.  That I can be a general and play all these computer games and win.  But I failed in having a strong relationship with God.  Sometimes I would compare myself with worldly people and tell God “God, look at these people, they don’t even seek you and they have so much more prosperity than me.”  But God knows my heart; he knows my potential.  He has given me the potential to spend time with Him and I have so far mostly squandered it.  To each measure God gives to a person. 

The root of all sins, my mentor told me, is pride.  And in my case, much of my sin comes from rejection.  I know what to do.

I told my mentor I wanted to go into truck driving, since it’s the only job that’s in demand right now that requires any college degree or just a high school diploma.  All the other jobs, the prospector applies but in truck driving, the employer invites people.  But, if I go into that field, I will be away from church most of the time.  My mentor told me that God wants me to stay at a supernatural church.  We are living in the end times, she told me, and I heartily agree.  I will find a career and a wonderful job in El Paso.  However, I need to seek first the Kingdom of Heaven. 

Satan also wants me to debate and argue with people about religious doctrines and overwhelm myself but no, debating and argumentation cannot change people.  Showing love, supernatural signs and wonders, and God can change people.  I’m not going to stress myself about these things or participating in Christian “debate clubs.”  Pastor Patty asked, “You know why there is so much division in the church?”  Ahh, I forgot her answer, but I think it has something to do with the lack of power in today’s church.  And God wants unity but Satan brings division.  For me, I care less about the means but the end.  The end is the supernatural power of God that can save people.  I don’t want to waste my time arguing whether this point or that point is right or wrong.  It brings anger.  It brings hatred.  It brings controversy.  It brings division.  Just as fire came down on Elijah’s altar instead of Baal’s, just follow God, follow His Holy Spirit.  It’s okay to make theological mistakes, God will bring it to heart when the time comes but just worship God!  1 Corinthians 13:12 “Now we see things imperfectly, like puzzling reflections in a mirror, but then we will see everything with perfect clarity.  All that I know now is partial and incomplete, but then I will know everything completely, just as God now knows me completely.”  Don’t worry about the doctrine.  God will correct each of us in time.  Just worship and seek God through his Holy Spirit.

Aww, too bad I already left that debate group.  I will try to rejoin it just to share the last paragraph and then leave it.  My mentor also told me to keep away from people who cause me to stumble in my walk with God.  I thank God for my family of Christ that care about me and that want to correct me.