Spiritual Warfare (NES, PC game, 1992)

2015.9.17: Spiritual Warfare (NES, PC game, 1992)

11:44am – 12:55pm

One memorable game from my childhood is this Spiritual Warfare game published by Wisdom Tree in 1992.  The goal of this game is to evangelize people by throwing the fruits of the Spirit at them and to defeat the various mini-bosses (which is always a challenge), and finally, Satan.  You win the game when you saved the whole city.  As always, I’m into these RPG/Action-type games.  Screenshots of the game can be found at the end of this blog.

A concept I remembered that is important for the Christian walk is endurance.  Just as we need physical endurance to finish a race or to exert our body for an extended period of time, we need spiritual/soulical endurance to handle the stresses of life and to follow God’s principles in this world.

One of the key factors that got me through my Army experience is realizing that I need endurance and then focusing on this attribute.  Recently, however, I find myself lacking this trait.  When I drive on the street and drivers do an injustice on me, I get angry.  When life becomes hard, I want to take the easy way out and I become frustrated.  When people close to me say or do something that is mean, I get offended.  I would cry out to God, yes, but I would cry out to Him for justice, and maybe vengeance and revenge.  I believe measured justice is ok (Matthew 5:38), but I also need to pray that that punishment can bring that person to God.  But, after talking to my mentor, maybe I shouldn’t even think about justice.  God will bring justice anyways because it is in his character.  What I should do is to pray for their salvation and forgive them. 

I realized that those symptoms of anger, frustration, and offense are signs that my spiritual endurance is weakening.  My spirit is under stress but I don’t have enough “muscle” to endure it.  So, I am going to focus on this attribute again.

In the game Spiritual Warfare, “endurance” or “hit points” is measured by the amount of hearts the character has.  I used to think of that as physical hit points.  Once those bad guys beat you up too much, you lose the game.  But, now, I realized that those hit points are not physical in nature, but spiritual. I will get hurt; I will get hit; but will I continue to evangelize?  In spiritual warfare, for both definitions, you lose when you give up. 

God, increase my faith and endurance so I can have more hearts.  And, in the morning, fill those hearts up (or me up) so I can endure the difficulties of life [and the Christian walk]. 

P.S.

If you want to play and download the game: http://gamefabrique.com/download/spiritual-warfare/

Spyware checked (using Spybot)

Note: For Windows 10, set the program file to Windows 95 compatibility, disable display scaling, and run as admin on the “Compatibility” tab in the “Properties” window.  Once you run the game, open it using the “Genesis” option in the “File” menu and then press Esc for full screen.  :)

Some screenshots of the game:

Theme song for this blog:

Jobs

2015.8.25: Jobs

Completed around 9:20pm

Today is a blog writing day.  :p

I thought about combining three topics into one blog for today but I decided it would be clearer if I separate them into three. 

Tomorrow is my first day at my new job!  Possibly.  If they can finish my drug screen and background check.  If not, then the company will have to reschedule me.  But, getting the job reminded me of what Xuan Nguyen said about jobs.

Jobs, he wrote, stands for “Journey of the Broke.”  Pastor Frank said, through my WFG mentor, in the business meeting that if you working, you are working the curse.  But if you own a business, you have the blessing.  Now I can see that he is right.  As an employee, I really have no control.  I can't get time off.  My WFG (World Financial Group) mentor told me that, as a nurse, she can’t even use the restroom without asking for permission first.  Now as I am signing the acceptance forms, I see why.  I had to sign to agree that if I have a dispute with my company, I will wavier my right to court or jury and that only arbitration is possible.  Anything I contribute to the company belongs solely to the company, not me.  This including writing or of any creative nature. 

But, I will still work in that job, for now, as if I’m working for God.  Even though the pay is low, or I’m taken advantage of, I know that everything belongs to God.  I know that He is the God of justice.

2014.5.11 [Discovery]

2014.5.11

S: 12:09am

E: 12:57am

I’m feeling restless right now so I cannot sleep.  I’ve decided to write on my discovery.  I would like to write my discovery but a lot things get in the way.  Among them is games.  I really do feel games, mass media, TV, movies, all these things take away the potential in our lives.  It’s easy to indulge, to have excess, in them. 

Two weeks ago, I had a SASW (Student Association of Social Workers) meeting.  I remember afterwards, I was fixed on going home.  I recently changed my diet to one meal a day for health reasons and I want to strictly adhere to it.  On the way down, I thought about attending the Intervarsity Christian Fellowship but decided not to.  That is until J came out and saw me.  He told me join but I told him my plans.  Then he said something memorable.  He said something along the lines of  “Jesus is the bread of life.  What’s better than having spiritual bread?  Forget about eating.”  His words changed my mind.  I went there and had a good time.  Towards the end, we decided to go eat at Chipotle and Wingstop.  I had a struggle there too.  Part of me wants to go to hang out with them, yet, another part of me doesn’t want to go for financial reasons.  I waited until the very end before I decided to go.  I’m glad I went.  I was about to socialize and talk to my brothers and sisters.

By reading this, some people may think I no longer love God.  That is incorrect.  I still love God.  He is the reason why I’m still alive.  However, I spent most of my time with God alone.  I prefer it.  Well, part of me prefers group.  It’s hard to tell.

I’m facing a lot of struggles, a lot of insecurities, a lot of worries.  I don’t think I can make it.  If I can’t see myself succeeding, if I can’t see myself winning, then I will probably lose.  That is partly from like experience.  Of course with God, everything is possible, but.  But it’s hard for me to spend time with Him, even if I want to, even if my spirit wants to.  I just end up doing other things like playing games.  Although, I have to say, it is better than before.  I am able to get a lot of things done, but I still spend a lot of time on computer games.  I might have Internet Gaming Disorder as listed in the DSM-V.  Before the Army, it was severe, now, it’s probably mild or moderate.  I really hope it’s just mild.  I actually hope I can be cured.  I would play games for a stretch and then feel guilty about wasting time.  This causes me to have a time of productivity.  Then I may play games again and feel guilty again. 

I find my best time to worship, to talk to God, or to myself and this write this discovery, is at night.  There is something special in the end, in darkness, at night.  I kind of wish my room can be pitch black at will so I can spend time with God.

I love singing, I would sing at night.  It helps me drive away my loneliness.  I wish I was back in the Camp Arifjan in Kuwait.  Not the work, but the amenities.  Everything is local and safe there.  I remember walking or jogging at the half-mile track at night listening, singing, and praying to God.  I miss those times.  Now, I can’t just go out into the streets singing or praying.  It would be unsafe.  And when I do pray or sing aloud, I just whisper it with my earplugs on.  That way, soldiers would think I’m just singing along with my music when in reality, I’m praying to God.

   Ask God for help and ask God to send angels and ask God to change the evil into good (transfer).

I’m just going to write anything.  Anything goes.  :)  Sometimes, I can’t sleep at night because I’m restless.  I’m restless because I feel I’m not done with my day yet.  I feel a longing unfulfilled.  I’m happy that I can always just talk to God and myself.  That alleviates the pain a lot.  If I can’t talk to God, I would go crazy. 

That brings the question, why not I be more sociable.  The fact is, I think I am.  I make active steps to be with people.  I join organizations on campus, run for leadership, and make sure my days are scheduled around people.  But, there are times when, I don’t know, I want to be alone.  Sometimes I feel I want to be alone and not alone at the same time. 

When I talk on the phone about my life, some people tell me that I’m always negative, that they can see something is “not right.”  Like a horror movie, I would inquire and that person would say “I’m not saying something is wrong….”  I think the reason why I’m so negative when expressing myself openly is because life to me is so negative.  I try but life is still negative.  I try, with God, and life gets better, however, I cannot be with God all the time.  My heart and my flesh fails.  I am a realist.  I see my troubles, worries, and future and I don’t know if I’m going to make it.  Why should I try so hard on something and fail in the end?  That’s why many times I just seek God, talk to God. 

I don’t want to publish my blogs because people may treat me differently.  I’m still the same person as they see, I just have a different way of seeing things, but, all in all, I’m still normal to them. 

What do I really want?  I want God but, again, what do I really want?  I think it’s ironic that I write so much and talk so much to myself but I still don’t know myself very well.  Well, I do know myself, I just, am indecisive.  Actually, there are times when I don’t know myself despite my efforts. 

Jesus keep me near the cross,

There a precious fountain,

Free to all the healing stream,

Flows from Calvary’s fountain.

There are times in my life, thanks to God, that songs just come up to me.  I would hum, sometimes sing, or listen to them on my computer.  I have dreams but, at least at this time, I’m too weak to accomplish them.  I still try though, I still sing. 

I feel, there are times, like this, that I can talk to myself and to God forever.  Just as some people can sleep forever, just kidding, I like to sleep too.  :)  I feel if I can talk to myself enough, with God of course, I can resolve any personal or any problem.  Knowing that God is in control and that everything will be okay in the end calms me.  Should I move out of the United States so I can be safer from the end times?  Well, I already have eternal life.  I should not try to save my life but to lose it for Him.  I could add references (Bible book, chapter and verse) but I’m too lazy.  I understand and a Christian who understands the Bible should also understand it.

One thing that is kind of funny that I remembered is my 1-month Bible reading plan.  I made that plan, I recall writing it in my blog years ago, because someone said the world might end in 2011.  So, to prepare myself, I created a 1-month Bible reading plan using Excel that covers the whole book.  I divided up into different categories such as “history, law of Moses, the Gospel, Prophecy, etc.”  In the beginning, I made good progress, but I got further and further behind.  That plan I made was unrealistic.  I mean, it could be realistic, if I treat it like my finals and study 24/7.   That 1-month plan became a half-year plan which became a 1-year plan.  I remember I was so happy when I reached the half-way point.  I am still on that plan!  But, I am almost done.  I’m almost done reading the Bible.  I read it about in the Book of Revelations, You read it too….  I have about 15 to 20% left.  Yay!  Reading the Bible, the bread, is essential for every Christian and I try to read it every day. 

I don’t want to judge people because God will be judge.  I don’t want to say that they are wrong, well, if my conscience, which is from God, tells me that they are wrong, then maybe I should tell them, prudently and with love.  If I know, through wisdom/discernment, that they will take offence or it harms the future, then I won’t.  The prudent man keeps silent because the times are evil (Amos 5:13).  I don’t want to get revenge because it is the Lord who avenges.  I take revenge by crying out to God concerning the injustice. 

Ok, I need to go to sleep now.  Today is already Mother’s Day and I have church tomorrow.  It is 12:53am now so I probably would be late.  Sigh.  Whether late or not, I try to attend for God.  I know punctuality is important to some people but God sees the heart.  I already have my defenses.  :p  But no, my defenses comes from God. 

I am planning to publish and return back to public life, but I need reserves first. 

God loves you.  No, to say that might be offensive to some people.  Fine, I love you.  But no again, what if I’m lying?  Fine, I will try to love you.  Why?  Because my God is the God who tries.  :)