2013.12.21:
E: 5:55pm
First, I would like to write about something that is
bothering me acutely. Many times, it
seems no matter how hard I try, I still lose and I still suck. The past few days, I have been investing my
life in this strategy game. Yet, no
matter how hard I tried, I still lost. I
followed advice and guides and did what I was supposed to do. I used strategic placement. I implemented all my tactics and strategy,
and yet, there is no way I could have beat the game. I guess there are games out there, I guess
there are trials in life, that no matter how hard I try, I just couldn’t
win. Win as in the earthly sense. I can do my best in something and still lose miserably.
For example, like today.
Today, I donated plasma! Well,
not quite. Yesterday, a caller from
United Blood Services called me about the need for blood and asked if I was
interested. I was, because I want to
help people and they were persistent. I
went to the blood center at noontime to check-in. While I was there, I noticed an easel-board
at the entrance with a chart of the blood types that are needed and the type of
“blood” that is in demand. For A+, which
is my blood type, I noticed they needed platelets or something, not whole
blood, which I typically donate. So, I
told my nurse that I can volunteer for any procedure. Whatever is in demand, I can help fill
it. So, she placed me to donate
plasma. I’ve never donated plasma before
but I have done some research into how it works. The initial assessment is fine. My blood is fine. My iron level, the part that might disqualify
me, was at 15 g/dL. Yes! I’m glad I took my multi-supplements. My pulse is good. Ok, so everything is good. I just told my nurse that I felt a little
nervous, but I always feel nervous every time when I donate because of the
needle. After a brief wait, they hooked
me up on a plasma donating machine. I
asked if there are two needles, but they told me it will just be one. The machine will take my blood, filter the
plasma, and return everything back through the same needle. Again, they asked me if I’m okay because I
looked nervous. I told myself that even
if I’m afraid, I’m still going to donate and help! I used my military training to motivate me to
carry through this. I don’t care what
happens, I’m going to donate plasma. I’m
going to give them a Christmas present.
Well, I was about to tell the staff that, but I decided to wait until
the present is done before telling it. I’m
glad I waited.
At first, everything went well. The machine started to take blood from my
body. I pumped the ball once every five
or so seconds. The first half of the
cycle is done. Then, the machine started
to return the blood back to my bloodstream.
For the first three-quarters of that round, everything was normal. I did feel a slight tingle on my arm but I figured
it is because my skin is more sensitive (I can feel the pain of the needle
going into my arm) and that my nervousness is making the blood return a little
more difficult. I couldn’t help my
nervousness. I feel the fear but I also
feel the desire. I tried to be calm, but
I still felt apprehensive. On one part
of the blood return, I actually giggled silently a bit. The tingling feeling tickles. As it was finishing up, a nurse came up and
asked how am I doing? I was just about
to answer “good” when my arm in the needle area started to hurt. I hesitated because I thought the pain would
go away. It didn’t, it got worse. I told her “the needle is starting to hurt.” The pain intensified in just a few seconds so
I escalated my dialogue. “It hurts, it
hurts.” And then a few seconds later, “Ouch!” The nurse came, checked my arm and turned off
the machine. This male nurse told me the
needle moved and wasn’t in my bloodstream anymore. So, the machine was giving blood into my
tissue which caused the pain. He told me
there is going to be bruising. I told the
nurse if they are going to continue. He said
I’m done. I asked if the plasma donation
was successful. He shook his head. They don’t want to risk getting my arm
worse. I felt bad. All this wasted investment on me. All these sterile medical bags and
instruments wasted because of me. I told
him “sorry” and he said it’s fine, it happens.
“I should have donated whole blood instead” I told him, “I’m used to
that.” I felt the donation failed
because of a combination of my nervousness (even though I got it under control)
and my small vein size (compared to other males my age). This was a frustrating experience. I want to help people and I try. I got so far but I still caused more harm
than good.
After this, I went to Wal-Mart to buy some slime for my car
tires, a battery, a portable start-up charger, some college-ruled paper, and
Christmas lights. I wore my jacket and
covered up my green bandage. I don’t
want people to see it. They may think I’m
a hero because I donated blood but, in reality, I failed. I only came out of the store with the slime
because I also did a bit of comparison shopping on the Internet and I found all
the other items are cheaper there. Except
for the college paper. I couldn’t find
any college-ruled paper! And not just at
Wal-Mart, at the PX as well, multiple times.
I don’t understand why these mega-stores don’t have college-lined paper
in stock. Oh well, I can buy a case of
36 packs of 150-sheets for $1 a pack online.
That’s probably more college-ruled paper than I would ever need.
No comments:
Post a Comment