12/15/2013: Week in Review [Discovery]

12/15/2013: Week in Review

S: 6:14am

E: 8:32am

I want to start by saying I’m a little upset at myself.  My sleeping schedule is all messed up despite my effort to correct myself.  At one point this or last week, I would sleep at 7 and wake up at 7.  Sounds good, right?  Except that I would sleep in am and wake up at pm.  I went to the PX (military store) to buy sleeping and caffeine pills in an attempt to control myself.  I took the sleeping pills but, surprisingly, it had little effect on my body.  I cautioned myself on the use of drugs to control my bodily functions and I use it sparingly, only when I need to sleep because there is class the next day or a final.  The fast few days, thanks to social assignments, I would sleep at 5 or 6pm and wake up at 2am.  It’s better, but still. 

Research shows that people who drink alcohol lightly at a regular basis tends to have better health than non-drinkers.  I think the improvement has to do with the exercise the kidney gets when a person consumes alcoholic beverages.  So, last week, I went to my class six military store and brought a 30-can Budweiser pack.  I think to outsiders, they may think I’m buying it just to de-stress or to get high.  It would be awkward for them to know I’m buying it for health reasons, just like how a glass of wine is good for your body.  This thinking also goes along with contamination.  It is not healthy to live in a perfectly clean environment.  The body needs some contaminants to train itself to fight against hostile organisms.  We inject enemy cells into our bodies (vaccinations) so our bodies can fight pathogens more effectively.  By exposing our bodies, and our lives, to different things, we for the most part, enrich it. 

This brings to my next point: balance.  I am trying now to live a more balanced life.  Before, and I hope my professors don’t read this :( , I would spend an inordinate amount of time on games.  I had no balance, everything in my life was centered on computer games.  I already know it’s very unhealthy and despite my best effort to control it, I fail.  So now, I’m trying again.  I don’t know how to explain it exactly but I feel the more I try something and the more I try frequently, the more success I get.  So, playing game is just one aspect of my life.  When I feel I am spending more than my fair share on games, I would do something else.  I would pray, sing, play my guitar, read my textbooks, read my Bible, spend time with God, try to arrange time with friends, do physical exercise, try new projects, ect.  If I spent too much time on one thing, on games for example, I would tell myself that I’m done for the day, or at least, until the end of the day. 

Another issue I feel strongly about and would like to write is the issue of the existence of God.  I remember the song “有一位神” (There is a God) by讚美之泉 (Stream of Praise).  I do feel, by personal experience, that there is a God.

A few days ago, after I took my social work practicum final, I went to the UTEP Liberal Arts building with a few of my classmates to get some assignments done.  When I’m done with my work and was walking downstairs to my bicycle, I saw something like this:

I went down another flight of stairs and I saw the same poster again.  I couldn’t take it anymore so I took it out and put it in my pocket.  I feel angry at both the person who posted this and at the people who wrote on it.  For the person who posted this, I felt angry because the person lacked wisdom.  Regardless if it’s true or not, the person should not put this because the audience is not ready.  They will be hostile.  At least give them simpler food like “Jesus loves You” or “Happy Birthday Jesus!”  Second, even if the person puts those words, he or she still should refrain from posting it.  My university is not religiously-affiliated.  These religious doctrine, whether I agree or not, don’t belong there.  The person could instead put a new Christian club that is forming with Bible studies on this and this day.  I also have a feeling that the person who pasted this on the bulletin board had evil intentions.  He or she might have made this to provoke the students to attack Christ or to show how stupid Christianity is.  It is these bad examples from people with good or evil intentions that is giving God a bad smell.  Second, I also felt anger and hurt at the people who wrote on the poster.  Those negative comments can hurt people who adhere to that religion.  I believe people should have the freedom to believe what they want to believe, no matter how ridiculous, without persecution.  By persecution, I mean people should be free to believe without being treated negatively.  People are free to voice their opinions, whether good or bad, but they need to own their ideas.  Instead of writing “Your mom” or “God is dead,” they should write “I think it’s your mom, not Jesus” or “I think God is dead.”  By owning their thoughts, they are inferring that their words are their own and is not be believed as truth.  This concept is also used in conflict resolutions.  If the person on opposite sides begin with the words “I feel” or “I think,” they are deescalating the conflict because each of them are only sharing what they feel, not as all-including truth. 

In social work, I learned dominant and alternative paradigms.  Knowing this can help me defend against those who attack Christianity, or in general, on religion.  Traditional or dominant theories are theories that have made the most influence in the world.  Those beliefs include the use of science and the scientific method as the supreme source for information and knowledge.  In general, those paradigms are positivistic, objective, and quantitative.  Alternative paradigms, on the other hand, are theories or belief systems that have had currently less influence in the world.  These paradigms reject the notion that scientific, objective, positivistic and quantitative methods are the only or best way to further human knowledge.  They believe that knowledge can also be gained through subjective, intuitive, interpretive, and qualitative means as well (Schriver, J. M.).  I learned that paradigms are social constructs.  Each population in a society has their own unique belief systems. 

I believe that using science and concrete evidence is not the only way to prove that God exists (or not exist).  God can also exist in our hearts.  I believe in God because I experienced Him in my life.  It is subjective, true, because I cannot prove it on paper but I can still feel Him.  There is more that I want to write about this but, to continue, I need to study more.

Yesterday, I went to the morning UTEP graduation commencement!  I went there to experience new things.  I’ve been to a few high school graduations but never a college one.  I didn’t know what it is like.  I want to be prepared when I graduate in 2015, if God wills, and I don’t want to make mistakes in front of the camera.  The experience is typical.  I would clap for the graduates whom no one claps for.  The weather was so cold.  I bicycled there.  I was going to wear more but I also need to take the comfortable warm indoor temperature into consideration, so I wore long pants, a long-sleeved shirt with a T-shirt, and a balaclava.  My army balaclava is very nice.  For a small amount of fabric and space, it keeps my neck and face warm.  During dust storms in Kuwait, it also helps me to breathe and see.

After attending the commencement (I left early), I went to volunteer at the Boy and Girls club of El Paso.  My Student Association of Social Workers had an event there.  The entire event was also a challenge for me.  First, I bicycled there and got lost.  I used Google Maps and it told me to make a left on a street that wasn’t there.  So, I improvised and got there, praise God.  While passing, I passed by a bustling shopping district.  Perhaps one day, I’ll go downtown to shop.  I remember when I lived in Los Angeles, on occasion, my family would go to Chinatown in downtown to shop for unique items. 

Our task at the Boy’s and Girl’s club is to assist customers to select free toys.  The staff would give us a list which includes the number of children the family has.  Each family can select three toys (was two) for each child.  If the family elects a bicycle for that child, then those three toys goes to the bike.  Maximum one bicycle per family.  Each family also gets a pair of sandals and a puzzle.  We would escort the clients to a room filled with toys.  The toys are categorized by age and gender.  I will explain the rules to the member and have him or her select the toys.  We volunteers also carry the items they choose.  I remember one time, a customer selected a tarot board with cards.  The background of the box looks satanic and dark.  Even though I don’t really agree with the customer’s choice, I still included the item in the bag.  Client self-determination. 

One major difficulty I had was my inability to speak Spanish.  My fellow volunteers would brief me on words to say.  “Dos juguetes por niño.”  I took two semester of Spanish at UTEP but I still feel like I know next-to-nothing in the language.  If I have more discipline, I will study up on Spanish.  So here I am trying to explain to many of my clients in broken Spanish.  “Cuatro niños so doce juguetes.  Or you can get a bicicleta pero una bicicleta por la familia.”  I had to ask my other social work students for help.  During the selection, I would point and talk about the perks of various toys.  I feel like a car salesperson.  Overall, it was an exhausting, challenging, but fun event. 

I feel I’m writing a little too much so to balance myself, I will conclude for the day.  I try to write at least once a week but different things come up and that once a week sometimes becomes once a month.  But I will still try.