My Discovery: military

Showing posts with label military. Show all posts

Sunday, September 7, 2014

2014.9.4 (Day 10)

2) 2014.9.4 (Day 10)

I have already interviewed a resident here at Dismas. I remember I was nervous when conducting my first PSA because it was my first time. The monitor up front sensed my nervousness and said, “I'll give you a nice one.” Needless to say, I did interview a nice resident. Conducting a psycho-social interview is like listening to a person's life story. There are many topics to cover such as family, physical health, spiritual health, education, law, and client strengths. Each topic can have numerous subtopics. For example, in the “education” category, I am also required to ask how the client is doing when he was in elementary school! I still remember my elementary years but many of the residents, some older, might have trouble remembering. The reason why we are required to go in detail and ask these questions is because what happens in a person's childhood can affect a person's psychological well-being in his/her adult life.

The resident I had is talkative. I'm fortunate. I heard of some residents who don't talk at all. Listening to their life stories reminds me of my story. I find our stories have similarities and differences. I don't want to go in detail but I find, so far, that the reason my resident got in trouble is due to logical, make-sense reasons. Reasons that, if we were under his situation, we might succumb to that, too. I guess in life, there are a few “critical” life decision or junctions that would affect our lives tremendously. Me joining the Army, for example, or me getting that stupid “D” grade in English class during my freshman year in high school. That cost me my admission to a Cal-State University back then. :(

I also talked to my fellow interns on why they joined social work. One of them gave his story.

“What is your rank?” He asked me.

“I was a specialist,” I replied.

One of my intern, F, was also in the Army. He was a sergeant when he got out. He said the reason why he went into social work is because he does the same thing in the Army. He conducts home visits. He checks his soldier's homes for safety. He conducts financial counseling for his soldiers. He advises his soldiers on how to spend and save money. He does safety briefings with his soldiers as well. When his soldiers go on leave, he is required to counsel them on safety issues. He conducts urinalysis for his unit. His MOS, like some in the Army (including me) is unrelated in what he does. His MOS is a fueler, but he is a re-enlistment sergeant in his unit. So, he also does some career advising and guidance for soldiers who are thinking about re-enlisting in the Army. He also runs the Chemical, Biological, and Nuclear (CBN) training in his unit. Change his MOS to “social work” and many of the tasks he does will be the same. :)

A sergeant from my unit once asked me why am I choosing not to re-enlist in the Army. I told him I want to help people; to be a social worker. He gave a gesture that shows “duh, what do you think you are doing now?” I think if I were to be promoted to a sergeant, many of the soldiering-care tasks that F mentioned would also apply to me. I might actually do some social work there. :p But, I know the Army, or the military in general, also has a social work MOS as well. They are an officer. I might consider working in the military.

Thursday, January 16, 2014

1/16/2014: Children [Discovery]

1/16/2014: Children

E: 3:10am

I know it is late but I have the desire, the urge to write. I know I need to fix my sleeping pattern because, if I don’t, I am going to suffer big time once school starts next week. But, thanks to my awkward sleeping schedule, I have a longing to write. Maybe not a longing, I’m not sure how strong it is, but strong enough. One thing I learned as a writer is that the desire, the primacy, to write can come at any time and if the writer chooses to ignore those urges, the writing quality, if the writer still chooses to write about that topic, will suffer. I don’t know when my next full moon to write will come. It could be tomorrow, or next month.

Today, I want to write about children. Anne Frank wrote in her diary that the best remedy for people who are depressed or sad is to be with nature. I agree that being with nature is good medicine, but, it’s hard for me to be in the outdoors here. I can’t just go into somebody’s backyard to be alone with nature. In my life experience, I find that the best remedy for people who are lonely, depressed, hopeless, or sad, is to be with children, is to help them. Being with children reminds me of how beautiful this world can be. That in this oftentimes hateful, impersonal, unjust world, being with children is not only a shelter from the sorrows of this world, but it shines a hope that humankind can be this way.

Even though I already brushed my teeth, I am going to eat that $1 chocolate bar I brought from a child at YWCA today. When buying, I want to promote interaction, so I asked him which kind is best. He told me he likes almonds. I told him I like almonds, too, so I brought it. After I brought it, his brother wanted to be the person to tally the number and type of chocolate bars sold. However, the other brother also wanted to be the person. So, they started to argue and fight. I ended it by first moving them to a relatively quiet area (I am at the tutoring classroom) and then having the boys settle the issue by playing a game of rock-paper-scissors. They have a unique way of playing that game. When one of the boys lost, he didn’t fight or argue, because he knows there is fairness involved.

OK, I’m already done eating that one serving chocolate bar so I’m eating some more chocolate. I love chocolate but I will eat it, or try to eat it, in moderation. Some people know their career choices ever since they were young. I, unfortunately, was not one of them. When I was in high school, I have a natural talent in computers (probably because I play games way too much), but I have no real desire to go into that field. I wanted to help people, to make a difference in the world, not slaving in some game company causing more teens to be addicted to computer games. So, I tried to be a nurse, then a teacher, and then a soldier. During my education major years, I worked at the children afterschool program. I remember, back then, that it stuck a chord in my heart. For me, going to teach or tutor at the center was not work, but play. I would also get sad or lonely at home but once it’s time for me to tutor, I brighten up.

I’m still, from other people’s perspective, way too nice though. I prefer explaining why a child should do things, to develop a child’s moral reasoning, than to just punish the child.

So, there are two paths for me. One is to continue my social work career and to become a social worker, helping people solve their problems (in social work, we are taught to use the word “challenges” instead). I could do any combination of working right after earning my degree or trying to attain my master’s. The other is to also finish my bachelor’s degree in social work but to join the federal Teach for America program. This program allows most people with a bachelor’s degree or higher to become teachers after attending an intensive summer training program. The new teachers are then placed in in-demand or needy areas and are paid as a starting teacher in their school district. I know that as a social worker, I can also work with children. However, I did a test job search at usajobs.gov and found most social work jobs to be dealing with the military. It’s not I don’t want to help the military, it’s I’m not sure if I am capable. Sure, on paper, it seems I’m more than qualified. I have almost four years of active duty military service. I’ve deployed. But, I feel I am always behind the learning curve in the Army. My struggles and coping styles are more unique than the typical soldier or most soldiers. I have not seen actual combat so I don’t really know how a hardcore soldier is feeling. I can attempt to comfort the soldier, or just “listen”, but I probably would not be able to emphasize with him or her. Also, since social workers work for the federal government as well, they are responsible to weed out incapable soldiers. This is when the agency’s mission conflicts with serving the client. I don’t want to be the person who recommends that a soldier be chaptered out of the Army. I myself was almost chaptered out or gave up many times due to my weaknesses. Another historical option was to join the Peace Corps. That used to be my golden plan. I can fight for peace. However, serving the Peace Corps is a volunteer assignment. I won’t get paid a regular salary. I can’t do that because I have loans to pay and money to save. Perhaps once I get older, maybe, I’ll join. I have also considered become a lawyer. However, law school is expensive and I probably can’t afford it. Even if I could get PLUS loans which covers the cost of living and tuition, I may have to work for some corporation or big-firms that pay a lot so I can pay off my debts. Not only that, I also stutter when I speak. I enjoy debate, but I’m not sure if being a lawyer is favorable.

So, back to the topic, I am probably going to be a teacher or a social worker that helps children. Or maybe the homeless population. Or maybe the prisoner population. But, most likely children. Children gives me joy. It reminds me of a better world. It allows me to help a vulnerable population. But most important of all, being with children allows me to see God (Matthew 18:3).

Monday, December 30, 2013

Soldier Diaries [Discovery]

Wednesday, October 23, 2013

10/23/2013 [Discovery]

10/23/2013:

S: 11:46pm

E: 12:29am

I thought about skipping today’s entry but decided against it. The worse, for now, in this blog is every-other-day. It is almost midnight and I need to sleep so I will make this short.

I sin, I sin every day, but I’m not going to write about that. I think everyone sins at least once a day, unless the person makes a super-conscious effort not to.

Yesterday, I went to the UTEP Centennial speech by famed Ricardo C. Ainslie about “Lessons from Juárez and the Future of Mexico’s Drug War.” He first describes the history of the war, mistakes made, and some possible solutions. I attended this seminar as an extra credit assignment. I am also required to write a paper. Since I’m too lazy to rewrite what happened, I’m going to copy-and-paste the 1-page summary that I wrote:

Distinguished speaker and psychologist Ricardo C. Ainslie spoke at UTEP about the history of Mexico’s Drug War, using the city of Juárez as an example, his analysis of the government’s response, and possible solutions to ending the violence.

This paragraph will cover a brief history of Mexico’s Drug War. In December 2006, parts of Mexico were under control of the cartels. The Mexican state decided to fight back. However, there are problems with this strategy. The Mexican Federal Police (PJF) numbered only 7k-8k at the start of Calderón´s administration. The municipal and state police forces were thoroughly corrupted. The Mexican Army (240,000) was not trained for police work. And, the judicial system is dysfunctional. From year 2007 to 2012, 11,182 people have been killed in Juárez. The average victim male and 15-25 years of age. Many people and their families died because they can’t come up with extortion money. The federal government’s response to send the Army further compounded the situation with accidental killings and roadblocks which made life hard for the average citizen.

Ainslie suggests that there should be more programs like “Todos Somos Juarez” that offers a comprehensive plan of increasing police budget, offering quality education, universal health care, drug addiction programs, and public spaces that has been demonstrated to reduce the violence in Juarez. He also stresses that the primary objective of the War on Drugs should not be to stop drug trafficking but to have the Mexican citizens live in peace.

It’s very sad that these things happen. Drugs are not the main problem. It is just a symptom of a greater problem. The main problem, I feel, and there are many fronts to this issue, is the lack of love in this world. If people were to love God and to love their fellow man more, the drug problem, like my gaming problem, will be lessened. People would think twice about committing such horrific acts because they would still have a conscience.

As a future social worker, I can see multiple issues in this war. Poverty and lack of economic opportunities is a big issue. When times are hard, some people turn to crime and illegal ways to survive. They seek membership into the cartels to make a living. Government corruption is another factor. If more people in the government were to put serving and protecting the people above themselves, the tide would turn more against the cartels. I’m not saying everyone in the Mexican government is corrupt; there are many good people in the government who is trying earnestly to help. Every country has people who are corrupt and, by corrupt, I mean people who place themselves above the good of society. I remember one of my soldiers had corrupt drill sergeants when he was in basic training. The drill sergeants would actually sell passes to soldiers so they can take cigarette breaks, get more sleep, eat donuts, and even sex (he said the DS were selling the lunch ladies). I have to be honest. Basic training was really hard and if my drill sergeants were to sell sleep time, I could sleep forever.

I could write more but I too need sleep, so I’m going to sleep. When I’m trying to sleep, I also enjoy imagining things. A common theme I would imagine would be fighting. I would recreate myself as a fighter (if I’m lucky paladin) in a fantasy land. I would try to fight against evil but because of my sins, I would make mistakes and sometimes I would have to beg for mercy. I would sometimes imagine myself as a ranger, using both the bow (and crossbow) and sword. In that character, I prefer ranged combat and to hit-and-run because I’m disadvantaged at melee. In spiritual terms, ranged combat is like prayer while melee is like talking or dealing with people. My strategy, since I dress lightly, is to outrun my opponents and then shoot arrows again. Other times, I try to imagine that I am in the Temple of God praying but it’s hard to imagine that.

Ok, I think you get the idea. I also dream a lot which is good. Good night.

Monday, October 21, 2013

10/21/2013: The Real Positive Qualities Chart / Guitar [Bright Ideas / Discovery]

10/21/2013: The Real Positive Qualities Chart / Guitar

S: 9:47pm

E: 10:53pm

Note: To see the small-print, drag the picture to the top to make a new tab.

So, as promised in my last blog, here is the Positive Qualities Chart developed by Jim Downs. Let me retype some of the instructions they gave me:

[From handout]

Purpose & Philosophy: Whatever you focus on, you personify. Whatever you experience becomes a part of your being. You can become better than you are by choosing and acting on your positive ideas and ideals.

History of the Chart: Love, truth, beauty, and goodness are the foundation upon which all qualities are build and the culmination of all reality. If these are the central values, what others are important and what would be the relationship among them? The Chart and book are my answers to these questions.

Facts: There are 1,000 qualities on the Chart which were taken from a list of over 2,300. The Chart took six years to catalog, organize, and design. Each quality has a wedge of qualities situated in front or behind appropriate related qualities. These relationships flow out from and into the center – a sort of visual thesaurus.

[From brochure]

Positive Qualities are the basic and universal building blocks of life. Being positive enhances your physical, emotional, mental and spiritual well-being. We each embody a wide range of qualities and you’ll be pleasantly surprised at how many of these gifts you already possess. Growth is assured with your conscious, sincere, intelligent and playful effort. Keep up the good work.

Acquiring qualities creates a feeling of real accomplishment and gives a genuine boost to your self-esteem. Share the powerful and tender force of Love by your willingness to understand and sympathize with others.

As you look at the chart, identify with a quality and see yourself experiencing it in your life. For example, if you need humor, open yourself to the lighter side in your daily events. Or, picture a situation and imagine what the ideal collection of qualities should be as you live out the scene.

…

Ahh, too much typing. Ok, so there is the gist of it. I can type fast, around 80-90 wpm average, but right now I’m running out of time. Tomorrow may be another long day like today.

Before I get to my happenings today, I want to talk about the chart. I do find this chart useful to keep track of my personal growth. As you can see from the big picture, I have it taped to the wall. The ones with a black dot are the ones I feel I have. I am not done evaluating myself yet. Best of all, having this chart serves as a visual reminder to improve myself. I recommend everyone good to download the picture and to look at the values that you share.

Ok, about today. Whew. I was supposed to get my blue autistic guitar two days go but when the USPS came, twice, there was no one to sign-in or track the package. I was so pissed. I was in my room at that time! The thing is, I live in the back of the house, with separate rooms. Therefore, I couldn’t hear whether the post-person knocked on the front door or not. The only way for me to receive the package is to physically be at the front porch and wait for the delivery-person to arrive, which is just what I did. I set my alarm to 8:30am because that was about the time when the person came the first time. I waited outside from 8:45 to around 9:45 and no one showed up. I had my fold-up ACU Army chair with books and my mp3 player. However, I spent most of that time praying, singing, and walking around. Waiting outside for people to come reminds me of a few memories from the Army. In the Army, we too have to wait outside a lot. I miss those times. I remember once when I was in Kuwait, I was one of the three soldiers selected to go to another U.S. base to “watch” the equipment until the forward unit who is supposed to relieve us arrived. So here I was, in a sea of military trucks and Humvees just standing there waiting for my shift to close so the next soldier can relieve me. I would have my cellphone ready in case something happens. And I would also have the same field chair with my ACU backpack next to it. I would walk around and sing, pray, read the Bible, and eat. The lot where I patrol is pretty big so I have to walk a bit to make sure everything is covered. I also enjoy the feeling of being by myself. I imagine once the stillness ends and the forward unit arrives, there will be a locust of activity where I stand. I actually have a picture of myself.

Here I am, in a special mission. This is a picture taken of me during night-time in my quarters typing, you guessed it, a blog. We also spend a lot of time transporting materials around the site.

Anyways, back to my story. So the mail-person didn’t come. I figured he or she will come again around noontime, because that was when that person came the second time. I texted S (inital) that I wouldn’t be able to attend the prayer meeting because I have to “watch” for the mail-person. So I waited outside again from 11:30am to around 12:30pm and still the cavalry didn’t come. Using the journey-approach, I took measures and biked to the UPS store in downtown El Paso. The staff told me, because of a special arrangement, my mail is with the USPS. So, I biked back and drove to the post office where my zip code is at, which is pretty far away. I got there and the staff there told me they moved my area to another post office. So I drove there and the staff then told me because the sender designated it as a business address (which it’s not), the package is still en route with the mail-person. Therefore, they don’t have it. Oh my goodness. Luckily, and I forgot to mention it, I made a note to the UPS deliverer (forgot to change to USPS) to call me to verify the package. I’m so glad I made that note because while I was buying groceries at Wal-Mart near-by, the delivery-person texted me and told me the package is at the front of the house. I’m so glad when I heard that. All this work, all this effort, for nothing. Well, not really nothing, I still learn some values and gained some experience.

I ordered the acoustic guitar in part because I wanted to help play for Intervarsity. The members there encouraged me to join them. However, I might have trouble because their practice session conflicts with my volunteering time and I may be too busy to help. I still want to remain optimistic so I brought the guitar. I also already have an electric guitar, unfortunately, I realized its downfalls. I thought the electric guitar would be the jack-of-all trades because with the amp, I can adjust the volume to however I want. I developed a portable system where I put the amp in my backpack and connect the wires to my guitar. There, I can walk and play and sing. The downfall to my system is that it’s not portable enough. I have classes all day (on Thursdays) and I bicycle to school. By the time I’m done with my classes, I’m already tired. I don’t want to lug a heavy electric guitar with a loaded backpack to school. With my acoustic guitar, I can just use that as a backpack and bike my way to school. Maybe I made a mistake. Maybe I’m just being lazy. I just wasted $35 on that guitar. Oh, did I tell you I only spent $35 on it? I was comparison shopping and I found this guitar on Amazon. It is both cheap and of good quality, based on numerous customer reviews. I got the guitar today and it is beautiful. It also comes with a flimsy bag, a pitch-pipe, and a spare set of strings. I could take a picture of myself with it and post it on Facebook sometime.

Ok, so there is my daily double. I want to close this entry so I have a bit of time for myself, God, and to prepare to sleep.