8/15/2015: Move like Water

8/15/2015: Move like Water

10:01pm – 10:39pm

I have many things to write but, at the same time, I don’t have a lot of things to write.

Today is a supernatural day, and yesterday was a supernatural night.  Supernatural days and supernatural nights.  Tomorrow will be a supernatural day and Monday, with HOP (house of peace), will be a supernatural night.  I want supernatural days every day!

There is a principle that I want to share that may be the cause of many of my worries and stress.  The principle is to “Move Like Water” in The System Builder by Xuan Nguyen.  This book is supposed to help me better my “financial” business but I find it useful for other applications as well.  Let me share it briefly:

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The army’s disposition of force is like water.  Water configures its flow in accord with the terrain.  Water has no constant shape.  –Sun Tzu

Keep flowing.  Move like water.  Water doesn’t try so hard, but it flows.  When water hits a rock, it avoids the rock and goes around it.  Water sees the high land and never tries to climb it.  Water takes the low road.  That’s how water flows.

This is also how you do the business.  You always got to keep moving.  If people don’t join, move on.  If people don’t buy, move on.  If people don’t want to build, move on.

Don’t hit your head against the wall trying to convince the rock to buy, to join, or to do something it doesn’t want to do.  Just move on. 

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Wow, how many times have I violated this concept and gave myself undue stress and rejection.  I do want to say beforehand that there are exceptions to this rule.  I can’t flow the easy way from a macro or spiritual sense.  The easy way is the flesh but the flesh flows to death.  The direction of my flow, of my water, my river, needs to be towards life, righteousness, and abundance.  But from a micro-sense, this principle is a piece of wisdom. 

One of my fears is a fear of failure.  Many times I’m afraid to try or don’t try or give 100% because I’m afraid of making mistakes and failing.  I’m afraid that people won’t follow me, that they won’t listen to me, etc.  I want perfection but that is not possible because only God is perfect.  The fact is I won’t be perfect but I must still try.  But once my course is set, I need to focus on the positives and not spend too much time on the barriers or my situation. 

This can apply to evangelism.  If people reject me, move on.  If people won’t listen to me or try to intensely argue with me, move on.  It is not the healthy that needs a doctor but the sick (Mark 2:17).  I will invest in people that will listen, that are promising, whose hearts are open.  This doesn’t mean to ignore people who are not interested.  But, the principle is to spend most of my effort and energy on people who are open and who bear fruit. 

This concept can also apply when I’m suggesting an idea or anything.  I wouldn’t waste my time on people who are negative.  I remember before, I would try to argue and debate with people who reject my idea.  This is a waste of my energy.  Most likely, these people are not going to change anytime soon.  What I learned in social work advocacy is to spend the energy on people who support you and on those who are “maybes” or those who are still open.  I hit a rock I go around it instead of spending huge effort trying to go through it.

This can also apply to investing.  I read somewhere on Investopedia that most people invest the wrong way.  They invest in negative wealth.  When a stock goes down, many would buy more into it, thinking that they are buying the shares at a lower price.  Then it goes down even more and those people buy that stock even more, thinking it is a discount.  But what happens?  Stocks are not commodities (commodities will be a different story since the value of it cannot be zero).  When a company’s stock goes down, it is an indicator of trouble.  The foolish investor would have invested most of his/her money in a business that is going downhill.  No, when a stock is going down to a certain point, the wise investor will pull the money out and put the money in a stock that is increasing or doing well.  Then, most of that investor’s money will be in successful stocks.  Like water, go where the money is.  Ignore resistance and focus on what can build.  Ok, I might not be making much sense or my analogy might be off.  I need more experience in writing and I need to get back to writing my blogs.

This principle can also apply to making friends.  If someone doesn’t want to be my friend, I can’t force them.  The best I can do is to meet them halfway. 

So, I’m not going to worry about whether this person or that person is my friend or not, or listens to me or not, or follows me or not (although they should follow God), or whatever or not.  I’m not going to worry on the negatives.  Like the U.S. strategy against the Japanese in World War II, I will island-hop.  I will focus my efforts, time, and energy on my dreams (which needs to come from God), and on positive things.  I will not waste my time on the negatives and on resistance.  If I encounter resistance, I will just go around it.  If I can’t, or if going around it is too lengthy, then I will just pray to God for the walls to fall and then keep trying.  I will ask, seek, and knock.  The main point in this principle is to keep trying, and to keep trying positively.  “If an expert says it can't be done, get another expert” (David Ben-Gurion).

I need to stop worrying about my situation.  I need to stop worrying about my problems.  I should just seek God.  Seeking God is easy, or should be.  Let God direct my flow.  If I encounter resistance, I should give it to God.  Many times, when I do that, He tells me what to do and it becomes easy.  If people say no or they reject me, I should seek God first and evaluate myself.  If I find myself blameless, then I will just move on.  Maybe I’m expanding the flow like water principle but this principle reminds me of what I’ve did wrong.  (PS: I have been trying to do this but I need to work on my discipline)

2015.8.2

2015.8.2

There is a lot of similarity between an evangelist and an insurance sales agent.  One sells the near-future while the other offers the eternal future.  In both professions, I have to talk to people; I have to offer them a product that is better than what they have now. 

I just finished design my business card.  On the front is the usual information: name, address, business logo, etc, but on the other, is a comparison of the change and the status quo (401k, banks, other investment products, I’m not showing the chart b/c I’m not here to advertise).

People don’t like change, they tend to resist it, but in both cases, I have to try; I have to at least plant the seed.  However, one is easier than the other. 

People would want to buy life index fund insurances but they may not want to accept Jesus into their hearts.  The latter carries more responsibilities and consequences. 

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Ok, the following may or may not be censored.  It’s harder for me to write if I have to watch and censor my words and thoughts.  I feel inhibited and people can’t be at their best if they are inhibited.

Today, Pastor Patty preached to us about the importance of having a relationship with God.  She mentions that many life problems such as doubt is caused by a weak relationship with God.  We doubt because we do not trust God and doubt leads to fear and confusion.  No wonder I am so confused with my life.  The only thing I am not confused is the importance of seeking God but even in doing that, I am struggling.  But, I find that the times when I do seek God and spend time with him, I feel peace, and I feel in control of my life.  In a way, it’s ironic.  By seeking God, I gain direction on what to do in the world. 

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Wow, I can’t think right now.  In a way, I’m happy that I got some work done, but in another way, I could have done better.  Even today, I played hours of computer games.  The three areas that are competing each other in my life are God, games, and girls.  Haha.  But, as Helen said, there could only be one: God.  The reason why I’m in the mess I am in now (lack of direction) is because I failed to spend time with God.  I feel I have great potential with Him and I do want to seek Him.  But other things in the world are more alluring.  They are more fun.  They are more exciting, or so it seems, than God. 

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As I said regularly, I feel like killing myself.  I feel like ending my life.  It may seem unthinkable or shocking to some people, but, in a way and as I grow in God, I learn the value of life.  I see life as something to be taken lightly because God is in control and He will be the judge.  The Bible says whoever saves his life will lose it.  Many people who do not know God value their lives because it is the only thing they have.  They are selfish, they refuse to die to themselves, or to sacrifice to help others.  But I know that the value of life depends on the quality of it.  Job said that it is better to be a stillborn child than to live a life of suffering.  If my life feeds and weakens other people, then it is better for me not to live.  It is an act of resistance against poverty and lack.  I don’t want to be homeless and suffer for the rest of my life.  I would rather die.  Or if I do live, then I’ll live for God, but only God.  But many times, actually most of the time, I fail to live for God.  So then, what is the point of my life?  What is my life without God?

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I find that the best way to talk and interact and act around other people is just to let go.  To let go of myself and my agendas and to let them think and act.  To be humble and only say what is needed, for with many words comes strife and sin is not absent.  By avoiding many words, I am also confusing the devil and those who are evil.  They do not know as much as if I would speak more frequently.  Speak just enough and act humbly.  Speak when you can change and with fewer words, you can influence the outcome.  Gold for silence but silver for words.

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Going back to the life debate again, because I know it is very controversial, people should have the right to die.  It should be a right, and an act of freedom.  This can bring equality to the classes.  The rich don’t want the poor to die but they want the poor to suffer.  Why suffer if one can have rest, if one can have peace?  However, should someone choose to die, that person should have a few commitments as possible.  Why did I choose not to die while in the Army?  Because I promised to serve my country and I will be letting my unit down.  So I decided to wait until I’m done.  And I’m single.  If I have a family, with a wife and kids, doing this may be unethical since it will hurt them and probably cause them to die, too.  As few commitments as possible.  Sure, it will “hurt” some people because they do not understand what life is.  If people know that this life is but a phase, is but a prelude, and that eternal life is much more important, then people wouldn’t carry so much meaning in this physical life. 

This world is not my home,

This life is not my own,

But whoever owns me controls me.

They can make me happy or sad

Glad or mad.

No, that is only part of it.  I can change my attitude by changing the way I think.  So it works both ways.  If life is too difficult and there is no way out, seek God.  If you can’t seek God, keep seeking God until you reach your end.  For me, my end is when I have less than $500 in my bank account.  I don’t want to be living on the streets; I don’t want to be homeless.  I don’t want to be harassed and attacked and shamed by people.  I don’t want to be judged by men but by God.  Better death with peace than life with war. 

Jesus loving Jesus,

Sweetest name I know

Fills my every longing

Keeps me singing as I go.

2014.9.4 (Day 10)

2) 2014.9.4 (Day 10)

            I have already interviewed a resident here at Dismas.  I remember I was nervous when conducting my first PSA because it was my first time.  The monitor up front sensed my nervousness and said, “I'll give you a nice one.”  Needless to say, I did interview a nice resident.  Conducting a psycho-social interview is like listening to a person's life story.  There are many topics to cover such as family, physical health, spiritual health, education, law, and client strengths.  Each topic can have numerous subtopics.  For example, in the “education” category, I am also required to ask how the client is doing when he was in elementary school!  I still remember my elementary years but many of the residents, some older, might have trouble remembering.  The reason why we are required to go in detail and ask these questions is because what happens in a person's childhood can affect a person's psychological well-being in his/her adult life. 

            The resident I had is talkative.  I'm fortunate.  I heard of some residents who don't talk at all.  Listening to their life stories reminds me of my story.  I find our stories have similarities and differences.  I don't want to go in detail but I find, so far, that the reason my resident got in trouble is due to logical, make-sense reasons.  Reasons that, if we were under his situation, we might succumb to that, too.  I guess in life, there are a few “critical” life decision or junctions that would affect our lives tremendously.  Me joining the Army, for example, or me getting that stupid “D” grade in English class during my freshman year in high school.  That cost me my admission to a Cal-State University back then.  :(

            I also talked to my fellow interns on why they joined social work.  One of them gave his story.

            “What is your rank?” He asked me. 

            “I was a specialist,” I replied.

            One of my intern, F, was also in the Army.  He was a sergeant when he got out.  He said the reason why he went into social work is because he does the same thing in the Army.  He conducts home visits.  He checks his soldier's homes for safety.  He conducts financial counseling for his soldiers.  He advises his soldiers on how to spend and save money.  He does safety briefings with his soldiers as well.  When his soldiers go on leave, he is required to counsel them on safety issues.  He conducts urinalysis for his unit.  His MOS, like some in the Army (including me) is unrelated in what he does.  His MOS is a fueler, but he is a re-enlistment sergeant in his unit.  So, he also does some career advising and guidance for soldiers who are thinking about re-enlisting in the Army.  He also runs the Chemical, Biological, and Nuclear (CBN) training in his unit.  Change his MOS to “social work” and many of the tasks he does will be the same.  :)

            A sergeant from my unit once asked me why am I choosing not to re-enlist in the Army.  I told him I want to help people; to be a social worker.  He gave a gesture that shows “duh, what do you think you are doing now?”  I think if I were to be promoted to a sergeant, many of the soldiering-care tasks that F mentioned would also apply to me.  I might actually do some social work there.  :p  But, I know the Army, or the military in general, also has a social work MOS as well.  They are an officer.  I might consider working in the military.

My Internship at DC (Day 4)

* I am writing this log not only to fulfill a course requirement but for personal-enrichment as well.

1) Date: 8/28/2014 (Day 4) Start: 4pm

            I am, of course, still a new intern at Dismas Charities, having my orientation on Monday (8/25).  I learned many of the procedures, my tasks as an intern, and about Dismas during the orientation.  To be brief, as a student intern, I am required to see residents.  I do this by first conducting a psycho-social assessment on them.  Then, I identify three of the main problem areas the resident may have.  For each of the problem area, I am to have a goal.  Each goal will have three objectives and each objective three tasks.  The tasks need to be timed, measurable, and attainable.  Once approved, I can start seeing my client to get those goals and objectives met.  Interns are also required to conduct educational groups to teach the resident various transitional skills.  I feel I am more comfortable conducting groups than helping the individual on the PSA or treatment session because, for the education group, I already know the material to teach.  It is just a matter of disseminating the knowledge to the other residents.  I can use drawing out and cutting off techniques.  To compare with the individual PSA and treatment sessions, however, I am not the expert.  I have to ask questions to get information.  Well, being an intrapersonal person, I might be comfortable with both.  Now if the group session is about treatment, that would be much more challenging.

            Speaking of education groups, I heard that the residents in many of the sessions tend to be lacking in participation.  Many of the groups conducted tend to be quiet with only the teacher or group worker leading it.  If that is the case, I may not have to worry too much on cutting off, a technique that I may need more practice in.  I will have to use drawing out techniques such as rounds or activities to get everyone to participate.  I think passion is also an important factor.  If the residents see that I am passionate about what I’m teaching and genuine, they may pay more attention. 

            The gist of this entry, or what I want to write about, is the nature of Dismas and the residents.  I am told and taught that involuntary clients, especially offenders, can be the most difficult clients a social worker may encounter.  However, at Dismas, I believe an exception is made.  These residents at this halfway house, are almost out of prison and almost into mainstream society.  They are almost free.  Thus, many of them will behave like angels, on their best behavior, so they can have their dream of freedom.  They know that if they mess up, they will go back in prison.  This is unlike other correctional facilities, where its residents know they will not be freed anytime soon.  To be more philosophical, why can’t people, everyone in general, behave like angels all the time?  It is certainly possible for these federal offenders to behave nicely even though they are on their best behavior for a reason.  People should be on their best behavior because it is the right thing to do, not just to gain something.  But I know that people are naturally selfish, and many will only be nice if they can get Santa’s present.  To apply Kohlberg’s Theory of Moral Development, many of these residents are probably at a lower stage of moral development.  To many of them, their thinking is punitive.  It is about punishment and not the reward.  It is about the short-term and not about the long-term, not about karma, or anything like that.  Social workers, on the other hand..  ok, I won’t get to that.  But, people can be bad because there are no incentives to be good or to avoid negative consequences.   

            To look at myself, I am starting to be more selfish too, after finding out that being nice doesn’t really pay.  Nice guys do indeed finish last, but clever nice guys in heart can still finish first. 

            So right now, I’m doing a lot of theory and not a lot of practical.  I still have my manuals to read (each of them is like a textbook!).  I am pending approval for my PSA practice outline so once approved, I can start conducting PSA’s.

*Only unclassified material will be included.