2014.9.4 (Day 10)

2) 2014.9.4 (Day 10)

            I have already interviewed a resident here at Dismas.  I remember I was nervous when conducting my first PSA because it was my first time.  The monitor up front sensed my nervousness and said, “I'll give you a nice one.”  Needless to say, I did interview a nice resident.  Conducting a psycho-social interview is like listening to a person's life story.  There are many topics to cover such as family, physical health, spiritual health, education, law, and client strengths.  Each topic can have numerous subtopics.  For example, in the “education” category, I am also required to ask how the client is doing when he was in elementary school!  I still remember my elementary years but many of the residents, some older, might have trouble remembering.  The reason why we are required to go in detail and ask these questions is because what happens in a person's childhood can affect a person's psychological well-being in his/her adult life. 

            The resident I had is talkative.  I'm fortunate.  I heard of some residents who don't talk at all.  Listening to their life stories reminds me of my story.  I find our stories have similarities and differences.  I don't want to go in detail but I find, so far, that the reason my resident got in trouble is due to logical, make-sense reasons.  Reasons that, if we were under his situation, we might succumb to that, too.  I guess in life, there are a few “critical” life decision or junctions that would affect our lives tremendously.  Me joining the Army, for example, or me getting that stupid “D” grade in English class during my freshman year in high school.  That cost me my admission to a Cal-State University back then.  :(

            I also talked to my fellow interns on why they joined social work.  One of them gave his story.

            “What is your rank?” He asked me. 

            “I was a specialist,” I replied.

            One of my intern, F, was also in the Army.  He was a sergeant when he got out.  He said the reason why he went into social work is because he does the same thing in the Army.  He conducts home visits.  He checks his soldier's homes for safety.  He conducts financial counseling for his soldiers.  He advises his soldiers on how to spend and save money.  He does safety briefings with his soldiers as well.  When his soldiers go on leave, he is required to counsel them on safety issues.  He conducts urinalysis for his unit.  His MOS, like some in the Army (including me) is unrelated in what he does.  His MOS is a fueler, but he is a re-enlistment sergeant in his unit.  So, he also does some career advising and guidance for soldiers who are thinking about re-enlisting in the Army.  He also runs the Chemical, Biological, and Nuclear (CBN) training in his unit.  Change his MOS to “social work” and many of the tasks he does will be the same.  :)

            A sergeant from my unit once asked me why am I choosing not to re-enlist in the Army.  I told him I want to help people; to be a social worker.  He gave a gesture that shows “duh, what do you think you are doing now?”  I think if I were to be promoted to a sergeant, many of the soldiering-care tasks that F mentioned would also apply to me.  I might actually do some social work there.  :p  But, I know the Army, or the military in general, also has a social work MOS as well.  They are an officer.  I might consider working in the military.

1/16/2014: Children [Discovery]

1/16/2014: Children

E: 3:10am

I know it is late but I have the desire, the urge to write.  I know I need to fix my sleeping pattern because, if I don’t, I am going to suffer big time once school starts next week.  But, thanks to my awkward sleeping schedule, I have a longing to write.  Maybe not a longing, I’m not sure how strong it is, but strong enough.  One thing I learned as a writer is that the desire, the primacy, to write can come at any time and if the writer chooses to ignore those urges, the writing quality, if the writer still chooses to write about that topic, will suffer.  I don’t know when my next full moon to write will come.  It could be tomorrow, or next month.

Today, I want to write about children.  Anne Frank wrote in her diary that the best remedy for people who are depressed or sad is to be with nature.  I agree that being with nature is good medicine, but, it’s hard for me to be in the outdoors here.  I can’t just go into somebody’s backyard to be alone with nature.  In my life experience, I find that the best remedy for people who are lonely, depressed, hopeless, or sad, is to be with children, is to help them.  Being with children reminds me of how beautiful this world can be.  That in this oftentimes hateful, impersonal, unjust world, being with children is not only a shelter from the sorrows of this world, but it shines a hope that humankind can be this way.

Even though I already brushed my teeth, I am going to eat that $1 chocolate bar I brought from a child at YWCA today.  When buying, I want to promote interaction, so I asked him which kind is best.  He told me he likes almonds.  I told him I like almonds, too, so I brought it.  After I brought it, his brother wanted to be the person to tally the number and type of chocolate bars sold.  However, the other brother also wanted to be the person.  So, they started to argue and fight.  I ended it by first moving them to a relatively quiet area (I am at the tutoring classroom) and then having the boys settle the issue by playing a game of rock-paper-scissors.  They have a unique way of playing that game.  When one of the boys lost, he didn’t fight or argue, because he knows there is fairness involved. 

OK, I’m already done eating that one serving chocolate bar so I’m eating some more chocolate.  I love chocolate but I will eat it, or try to eat it, in moderation.  Some people know their career choices ever since they were young.  I, unfortunately, was not one of them.  When I was in high school, I have a natural talent in computers (probably because I play games way too much), but I have no real desire to go into that field.  I wanted to help people, to make a difference in the world, not slaving in some game company causing more teens to be addicted to computer games.  So, I tried to be a nurse, then a teacher, and then a soldier.  During my education major years, I worked at the children afterschool program.  I remember, back then, that it stuck a chord in my heart.  For me, going to teach or tutor at the center was not work, but play.  I would also get sad or lonely at home but once it’s time for me to tutor, I brighten up. 

I’m still, from other people’s perspective, way too nice though.  I prefer explaining why a child should do things, to develop a child’s moral reasoning, than to just punish the child. 

So, there are two paths for me.  One is to continue my social work career and to become a social worker, helping people solve their problems (in social work, we are taught to use the word “challenges” instead).  I could do any combination of working right after earning my degree or trying to attain my master’s.  The other is to also finish my bachelor’s degree in social work but to join the federal Teach for America program.  This program allows most people with a bachelor’s degree or higher to become teachers after attending an intensive summer training program.  The new teachers are then placed in in-demand or needy areas and are paid as a starting teacher in their school district.  I know that as a social worker, I can also work with children.  However, I did a test job search at usajobs.gov and found most social work jobs to be dealing with the military.  It’s not I don’t want to help the military, it’s I’m not sure if I am capable.  Sure, on paper, it seems I’m more than qualified.  I have almost four years of active duty military service.  I’ve deployed.  But, I feel I am always behind the learning curve in the Army.  My struggles and coping styles are more unique than the typical soldier or most soldiers.  I have not seen actual combat so I don’t really know how a hardcore soldier is feeling.  I can attempt to comfort the soldier, or just “listen”, but I probably would not be able to emphasize with him or her.  Also, since social workers work for the federal government as well, they are responsible to weed out incapable soldiers.  This is when the agency’s mission conflicts with serving the client.  I don’t want to be the person who recommends that a soldier be chaptered out of the Army.  I myself was almost chaptered out or gave up many times due to my weaknesses.  Another historical option was to join the Peace Corps.  That used to be my golden plan.  I can fight for peace.  However, serving the Peace Corps is a volunteer assignment.  I won’t get paid a regular salary.  I can’t do that because I have loans to pay and money to save.  Perhaps once I get older, maybe, I’ll join.  I have also considered become a lawyer.  However, law school is expensive and I probably can’t afford it.  Even if I could get PLUS loans which covers the cost of living and tuition, I may have to work for some corporation or big-firms that pay a lot so I can pay off my debts.  Not only that, I also stutter when I speak.  I enjoy debate, but I’m not sure if being a lawyer is favorable.

So, back to the topic, I am probably going to be a teacher or a social worker that helps children.  Or maybe the homeless population.  Or maybe the prisoner population.  But, most likely children.  Children gives me joy.  It reminds me of a better world.  It allows me to help a vulnerable population.  But most important of all, being with children allows me to see God (Matthew 18:3).