Mistakes and Sin (My call center experience III)

2015.9.18: Mistakes and Sin (My call center experience III)

S: 12:43am

E: 1:35am

I am writing in regards to yesterday’s call center experience.

I realize that there are some battles that I cannot win.  That there will be battles, calls, that no matter how hard I try, I still fail.  What can I do in those times?  Why has God placed me in a situation where there can be no victory?  I have not sinned, I made a mistake.  But, at that time, no, I didn’t make a mistake.  The customer I talked to seemed to be demon-possessed.  And I did, after the call, pray for him, prophyicied on behalf of him.  I declared that he will be a leader in the Christian church.  That he will be a disciple, a leader.  But now, looking back, I see that love and kindness is not enough.  Nothing I do or give is ever enough. 

So, from now on, I will seek to understand the issue.  I don’t care how mean or power-hungry that customer can be.  I will seek to understand the issue.  If the customer can’t explain his or her issue very well and gets angry, I will still seek to understand.  Seek first to understand, then be understood, right?  Well, in the call center world, that doesn’t really happen.  What is more likely to happen is the customer hangs up on you. 

There is nothing that I can do but there is everything that God can do.  I worry so much on my calls, it is stressing me out.  I worry about my CSAT (customer satisfication).  My supervisor and everyone it seems, stresses so much about that.  But, you know what?  That CSAT is based on people.  “Let me fall into the hands of the Lord, but do not let me fall into the hands of men.”  I don’t want people to judge me; I want God to judge me.  Then, there is my stuttering.  No matter how relaxed I am, or seem to be, as soon as I get a call, I stutter, for seemingly no appreant reason.  I can’t help it.  Sometimes I make drastic hand motions to help.  And it is affecting my performance with my customers.  My fault in making customers dislike me has nothing to do with my sins.  No, I love my customers, I care for them, I can feel their hurt and their pain.  But, it has to do with my weaknesses.  I stutter, and customers already want to speak with someone else.  I try my best to understand their issue but I have difficulty because the customers during my questioning attacks me for trying to understand them.  And, in the end, I still don’t understand them.  Well, better to be mocked trying to do the right thing than to continue and be clueless. 

So, what can I do?  When I try so hard to speak clearly, to not stutter.  What can I do when I worry so much on when my next call will be?  I always try to follow the call flow so if that customer gives me a bad score, I might be able to challenge it.  But the challenging process, I can already say, is not justice.  Customers can give me 1’s straight across but if I don’t meet 80% of the requirements, I deserve a 1.  In the customer care environment, the customer is god. 

I am here embittered.  I’m at a loss of what to do.  Sure, I can take revenge and mess up their accounts, but I fear God.  I love them and they hate me.  I try to understand them and they dislike me. 

Indeed, there is nothing that I can do, but there is many things God can do.  I belive that God is the judge.  If the customer curses me or mocks me or gives me a bad survey, I believe that God will give me justice.  I pray that that customer can get to know God and be one with Him. 

I try to take every call with a humble spirit.  But it doesn’t work all the time.  With a loving spirit, but love does fail.  I want to cry, seriously.  I want to hug them and tell them why do they hate me.  Why am I working in a job where I can’t win? 

I try to be like a robot but I can’t because I stutter.  And I can’t be a robot anyways because I love and care too much.  I thank God that there are customers that are very friendly and also very vurlenble that needed my help.  I find that I do best, that I help custoemrs the best when they have a willing and humble spirit.  Custoemrs that have pride or think they know it all, or have a spirit of anger and hate, those customers tend not to have issues resolved.  I do, I believe, have a better track record of helping those customers and I do resolve many of their issues, but then there are those who get upset because you don’t understand them, no matter how hard you try. 

There are some calls when the call just went so badly that I wanted to evangelize.  I wanted to tell the customers that Jesus loves them and that God has a future and a hope for them.  I wanted to follow the God flow.  Lol. 

Some people may all me arrogant.  But I’m not, when I realize and know the supernatural power of Christ. 

In a negative environment and a negative atmosphere, curses are everywhere.  Customers say curses at you all the time.  They use you and they curse you.  Sure, it may not be your fault, it may be the previous representative’s fault, but many times, the customers don’t care.  They declare curese on you anyways.  I have to cancel and nullify those curses and replace them with God’s blessings. 

Do I need this job?  No, I don’t need this job but I want a job.  I’m not in absolute poverty, yet.  And, in the name of Jesus, I will be prosperous, for God has a future and a hope for me. 

I have the American and, more importantly, the Israeli flag in my workspace because power comes from the God of Israel.  Actually, the God of the nations.  And I have signposts that declare that “love comes from God” and “power comes from God.” 

Jesus, what I can I do?  What can I bring?  To so faithful a friend, to so loving a king.  I need to find more ways to give encouragement to my customers, to bring God into the conversation.

I remember one conversation, I told the customer that God will take care of them, and the timing was appropriate.  I told her I will pray for her son, who is 2 years old, and is suffering from a terrible disease.  She is so stressed out.  I tried to encourage her. 

For those mean and unrelenting and unforgiving customers, maybe I should deliver them.  I don’t care if I get fired.  I already tried twice to quit but the management won’t let me because according to their stats, I am a top performer. 

So what can I do when these unwinnable calls come?  When I am unable to speak due to my suttering and the customers ride over me?  I will take solace that God is the judge.  I will also make a double-effort to live a pure life.  I will also make a double effort to live a humble life, to be humble towards God and men. 

It’s okay if I make a mistake.  I just must not sin. 

It’s okay to make mistakes, just don’t sin. 

Sadly, in this world, people rate mistakes much more gravely than sin.  In fact, many people celebrate sin.  But, I am not of this world.  I belong to God’s world.  In God’s world, I can make mistakes, because I am failble, but I must not sin, and if I do, then I will confess and repent.  My intentions must be pure.

For definition’s sake, to me, a mistake is an error caused with the right intentions or without wrong intentions.  It can be lack of knowledge, or lack of skill or ability.  I can make a mistake speaking but that doesn’t mean I carry sin in my heart, I just have the human weakness of stuttering.  Now sin, on the other hand, is a mistake or error caused by the wrong intentions.  Differing weights and differing measures, but the LORD tests the heart. 

God will be the judge.

I hope I make many mistakes because the more mistakes I make, with the right intentions, the more I will grow.  I don’t care about mistakes.  What I do care about, and what God cares, is whether I sin or not. 

So, when I answer calls, I don’t care if I’m going to stutter or not.  I don’t care about my weaknesses.  What I do care about is where I love them, whether I love the person on the phone with me or not.  Whether I have the love of God or not.  Even if the customer hates me and hangs up on me because of my mistakes, God will take care of me.  I rather have customers hang up on me due to my mistakes instead of my sins.  I will do my best and let God do the rest. 

Don’t worry so much about your life, Steven.  And in life, I have made many mistakes, and many of them are attributable to sin, but the more I seek God, the more I will be healed.

Mistakes ineviablily comes from sin.  Without sin, if there is no sin in the world, there will be no mistakes, absent intentions or not. 

So Steven, you will make mistakes, but just do your best not to sin.  It’s ok to make mistakes, God will take care of you, just don’t sin.  If I don’t sin, I win.