2014.1.26: Go Optimism! [Discovery / Bright Ideas]

2014.1.26: Go Optimism!

S: 11:10pm

E: 12:36am

The longer I live, the more I realize the impact of attitude on life….  Ok, I don’t mean to plagiarize.  I have this saying in its entirety pasted on my wall back in my room in Los Angeles.  This phase tells me the importance of a person’s attitude on their life.  How a person thinks, his or her outlook, plays a major part in that person’s life cycle. 

Due to its importance, it is critical for a person to have an optimistic way of thinking and outlook on life.  I want to be with optimistic people and to make optimistic friends.  I want to be with people who see opportunity at night and by day.  I want to be with people who see what is socially constructed as a “lose” or “win” to be a gain, a win, or an opportunity.  I want to be with people who see the glass as half-full first instead of as half-empty. 

Instead of people telling others that they can’t do this or that or being judgmental, I want people who instead ask “Let’s see what we can do.”  And, for goals that seem unreachable, I want them to say “Let’s look at some things we can do to help reach that goal.” 

For example, if someone wants to be like Bill Gates, instead of just dismissing that person’s dreams and aspirations by saying “that’s impossible,” I want people to instead say “OK, let’s see what we can do.”  That person can first learn how to use a computer.  Then, he or she can work on studying and getting a bachelor’s degree in Computer Science.  After that, the person can gain some experience by working for a software company.  After a while, once the person has more experience, he or she can team up or start their business alone.  If that dreamer is persistent, reevaluates his/her progress, and does their best, that person will be able to achieve as close to that person’s dreams as possible.  What I described is just one track or way that person can become like Bill Gates.  Then again, it depends on what that person defines Bill Gates as.  Does he/she want to be a great computer innovator or a rich man/woman?

Robert H. Schuller said that “I’d rather attempt to do something great and fail than to attempt to do nothing and succeed.”  Most successful people, if not all, have an optimistic orientation.  They believe in themselves and in their dreams. 

Being optimistic involves seeing all situations in a positive light.  One of the great Biblical figures who had bad upon bad handed to him is Apostle Paul.  Yet, he states, “When I am weak then I am strong” (2 Corinthians 12:10b).  He knows that in times of his weakness, of troubles, of tribulations or persecutions, he can more easily seek the One who is all-powerful and that he can learn and grow stronger from these windy experiences. 

In the Army I have soldiers tell me that they would just rather die than be me.  “Your life sucks” they say and they would point out all the obvious flaws and weaknesses that I have or may have.  But then, I thought to myself one day in the military, if I can be someone else, who would I be?  I looked at other soldiers.  They seem strong, knowledgeable about their jobs, and/or have many friends.  But I have one thing many of them don’t have: the ability to be with God.  I have God.  I can talk to God.  I can also talk to myself and problem-solve.  I told myself that if I can talk to God, then I can have anything.  So, I’m happy to be me.  I have the better deal. 

One of the foundations of social work is optimism.  Social workers focus on a client’s strengths and empowers the person or group to be all they can be.  The very fact that people try to help those who need help is a mark of optimism.  Pessimistic people might look at the homeless, or offenders, or in Jesus’ time, tax-collectors and sinners, and say “Oh they are homeless, they are hopeless” or “Oh they are offenders, there is no hope for them.”  But no!  We don’t give up on people because God doesn’t give up on them. 

Parents who are pessimistic can give a negative self-fulfilling prophecy to their children.   Children are naturally optimistic.  They would try new things.  They would draw, climb, taste, and do whatever that is pleasing to them or that is interesting.  However, if the parent tells the child, “Your drawing sucks, don’t draw,” or “You can’t even jump right, don’t bother playing basketball,” the classical “You won’t amount to anything” type of speech, then the child will not reach his or her full potential because he/she doesn’t know what their full potential is.  The child won’t try, won’t experiment what their mountain peaks are.  I feel it is safe for me to say that I am not born in an optimistic family.  One of my caretakers will use negative language to motivate me.  That person will say alternations of “You won’t amount to anything.”  That person will not encourage me to try new things.  That person will say I’m “stupid.”  My list is not exhaustive.  Thus, I am brought up in a negative mindset.  I would tend to see what I can’t do instead of what I can do first.  I would focus unduly on my problems and weaknesses instead of my strengths or what I can do about my problems.  I would get depressed a lot.  I am able to change my mind-set slowly by knowing Someone who is optimistic. 

I feel this world is very pessimistic.  People always look at the bad or assume the worse in people first.  Look at the TV shows, the daily news, or magazines.  People are attracted to negative things.  And then there are those people who are optimistic in making others pessimistic.  These people can be anywhere, in the real world or online.  They just seem to do their best in putting others down.  Those who experienced it will know what I mean.

I feel pessimism may be from Satan or the Evil One.  He will always try to discourage us.  He will always tell us, “No, you can’t do this; No you suck,” or “Why don’t you just die….”  God empowers but Satan disempowers. 

I’m happy to know that my God is an optimistic God.  The Lord is “patient… not wanting anyone to perish” (2 Peter 3:9).  He is optimistic that people will turn back to Him.  He sent his son Jesus to die for us in hopes that we can believe in Him.  "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me" (Philippians 4:13).

In writing about optimism, I want to note that optimism does not mean living in the skies all day and ignoring reality.  We do need to be a realist.  I would say our mindset needs to be 80% optimistic, 20% realistic, and 0% pessimistic. 

In this world, there will always be people who are pessimistic, but the only person who can truly be optimistic is yourself.  “And so it is with you… we are in charge of our ATTITUDES” (Charles R. Swindoll).

1/16/2014: Children [Discovery]

1/16/2014: Children

E: 3:10am

I know it is late but I have the desire, the urge to write.  I know I need to fix my sleeping pattern because, if I don’t, I am going to suffer big time once school starts next week.  But, thanks to my awkward sleeping schedule, I have a longing to write.  Maybe not a longing, I’m not sure how strong it is, but strong enough.  One thing I learned as a writer is that the desire, the primacy, to write can come at any time and if the writer chooses to ignore those urges, the writing quality, if the writer still chooses to write about that topic, will suffer.  I don’t know when my next full moon to write will come.  It could be tomorrow, or next month.

Today, I want to write about children.  Anne Frank wrote in her diary that the best remedy for people who are depressed or sad is to be with nature.  I agree that being with nature is good medicine, but, it’s hard for me to be in the outdoors here.  I can’t just go into somebody’s backyard to be alone with nature.  In my life experience, I find that the best remedy for people who are lonely, depressed, hopeless, or sad, is to be with children, is to help them.  Being with children reminds me of how beautiful this world can be.  That in this oftentimes hateful, impersonal, unjust world, being with children is not only a shelter from the sorrows of this world, but it shines a hope that humankind can be this way.

Even though I already brushed my teeth, I am going to eat that $1 chocolate bar I brought from a child at YWCA today.  When buying, I want to promote interaction, so I asked him which kind is best.  He told me he likes almonds.  I told him I like almonds, too, so I brought it.  After I brought it, his brother wanted to be the person to tally the number and type of chocolate bars sold.  However, the other brother also wanted to be the person.  So, they started to argue and fight.  I ended it by first moving them to a relatively quiet area (I am at the tutoring classroom) and then having the boys settle the issue by playing a game of rock-paper-scissors.  They have a unique way of playing that game.  When one of the boys lost, he didn’t fight or argue, because he knows there is fairness involved. 

OK, I’m already done eating that one serving chocolate bar so I’m eating some more chocolate.  I love chocolate but I will eat it, or try to eat it, in moderation.  Some people know their career choices ever since they were young.  I, unfortunately, was not one of them.  When I was in high school, I have a natural talent in computers (probably because I play games way too much), but I have no real desire to go into that field.  I wanted to help people, to make a difference in the world, not slaving in some game company causing more teens to be addicted to computer games.  So, I tried to be a nurse, then a teacher, and then a soldier.  During my education major years, I worked at the children afterschool program.  I remember, back then, that it stuck a chord in my heart.  For me, going to teach or tutor at the center was not work, but play.  I would also get sad or lonely at home but once it’s time for me to tutor, I brighten up. 

I’m still, from other people’s perspective, way too nice though.  I prefer explaining why a child should do things, to develop a child’s moral reasoning, than to just punish the child. 

So, there are two paths for me.  One is to continue my social work career and to become a social worker, helping people solve their problems (in social work, we are taught to use the word “challenges” instead).  I could do any combination of working right after earning my degree or trying to attain my master’s.  The other is to also finish my bachelor’s degree in social work but to join the federal Teach for America program.  This program allows most people with a bachelor’s degree or higher to become teachers after attending an intensive summer training program.  The new teachers are then placed in in-demand or needy areas and are paid as a starting teacher in their school district.  I know that as a social worker, I can also work with children.  However, I did a test job search at usajobs.gov and found most social work jobs to be dealing with the military.  It’s not I don’t want to help the military, it’s I’m not sure if I am capable.  Sure, on paper, it seems I’m more than qualified.  I have almost four years of active duty military service.  I’ve deployed.  But, I feel I am always behind the learning curve in the Army.  My struggles and coping styles are more unique than the typical soldier or most soldiers.  I have not seen actual combat so I don’t really know how a hardcore soldier is feeling.  I can attempt to comfort the soldier, or just “listen”, but I probably would not be able to emphasize with him or her.  Also, since social workers work for the federal government as well, they are responsible to weed out incapable soldiers.  This is when the agency’s mission conflicts with serving the client.  I don’t want to be the person who recommends that a soldier be chaptered out of the Army.  I myself was almost chaptered out or gave up many times due to my weaknesses.  Another historical option was to join the Peace Corps.  That used to be my golden plan.  I can fight for peace.  However, serving the Peace Corps is a volunteer assignment.  I won’t get paid a regular salary.  I can’t do that because I have loans to pay and money to save.  Perhaps once I get older, maybe, I’ll join.  I have also considered become a lawyer.  However, law school is expensive and I probably can’t afford it.  Even if I could get PLUS loans which covers the cost of living and tuition, I may have to work for some corporation or big-firms that pay a lot so I can pay off my debts.  Not only that, I also stutter when I speak.  I enjoy debate, but I’m not sure if being a lawyer is favorable.

So, back to the topic, I am probably going to be a teacher or a social worker that helps children.  Or maybe the homeless population.  Or maybe the prisoner population.  But, most likely children.  Children gives me joy.  It reminds me of a better world.  It allows me to help a vulnerable population.  But most important of all, being with children allows me to see God (Matthew 18:3).  

1/8/2014 [Discovery]

1/8/2014:

S: 2:42pm

E: 3:40pm

So sorry that I haven’t written for a while.  I feel these days, I would rather communicate my thoughts verbally, hence, I have been more of an extrovert by calling and talking to people.  I just hope I won’t be bothering them due to my adrupt change of behavior. 

What is a Friend?

I don’t know.  Maybe I make the worse friends.  I was hanging out with one of my friends partly because he feels alone.  While being with him, he has his quarks.  I could tolerate it, but he could sense my uneasiness so he kept telling me, “If you want to be my friend, then you have to accept who I am.”  It’s just the way he is, it’s all-or-nothing, OK, got it.  However, that statement somewhat bothers me.  I see friendship like a light form of marriage.  In a marriage, both couples will almost always need to bend a little in each other’s direction.  The husband/wife can change some of their bothersome habits, and the other spouse can change theirs, too.  Like friendships, it involves compromise.  When I’m with people, I control myself, with wisdom, so I can come out as friendlier to them. 

My First Client

Client confidentiality is a very important issue in social work but, happily, I have her permission to share what I did.  Well, I wasn’t actually a social worker helping someone, but these days, I feel like when I’m helping a person, I apply social work principles.  Ok, so here is an example.  The list may not contain everything about the client because I’m just drawing on what’s above the iceberg.

Carol (not her real name) is a 45 year-old woman.  She lives in Florida.  She has daughters whom both are living outside the house.  The oldest one is studying pre-med.  The youngest working and making a living on her own.  Her husband died recently.  Due to this, she suffered from severe depression.  Before her husband passed away, they lived in a family home.  However, following his death, the house was foreclosed.  Carol lost much of her belongings and moved to a small apartment.  Now, she is moving to another apartment, similar price, but with a nicer environment.  She said before, she used to be so happy.  “Life is wonderful,” she would tell me.  She is chronically unemployed, her last job more than a year ago as a bartender.  She quit her job because her supervisor, as she said, treated her horribly.  She is on-track to apply for Supplemental Security Income (SSI), however, her case, as she said, is taking a long time.  Her next hearing will be in June.  She has a dog and her dog helps a lot to keep her company.  She feels alone and isolated.  She also has financial troubles.  She has trouble paying rent and buying necessities.  She doesn’t have a bank account because she owes a few hundred dollars to the bank.  She is taking advantage of the SNAP food stamp program.  She is taking three medications for her needs.  One is to address hypothyroidism, another for depression, and the last to control muscle movements.  She told me that the hypothyroid medication helps to allieveate her depression the most and that she just got dignoisted by a doctor for that condition.  The doctor said to take that medication for two months.  However, due to a lack of funds, she couldn’t afford any of the medications.  She said she tries to eat healthy but that her appetite, due to her depression, has been poor.  She has a relatively poor social support system.  She was abused as a child.  Her family has been long divorced.  She has two sisters.  One sister is hostile to her and refused to help.  The other one did help her by giving emotional and some financial support.  Her mother is also not so well-off but she did give Carol some support.  She doesn’t go to church, she isn’t very religious.  That is her status in a nutshell. 

She has so many challenges.  Where can I start?  What can I do?  I remember in one of my social work classes, my professor gave a short story, like the one above, and told our class to identify the biggest issue.  I raised my hand and said that unemployment was the biggest issue.  I was thinking if the person has a job, then he/she will be able to have income, and thus, with money, more issues can be solved.  But no, I was wrong.  The biggest issue was mental health.  If the client has alcoholism, depression, or other personal issues, he/she may not be able to hold a job.  Thus, I would have wasted my efforts.  So, focusing on my client, my very first actually, I prioritized her issues.  I used the goals and objective approach.  I set the goals to be measurable, attainable, and with a time frame.  I considered making an eco-map, but I didn’t. 

So, for my diagnosis, I put the first priority for Carol is to set up a bank account.  If she has a bank account, it will be much easier for people to help her financially.  The second priority is her depression.  For that, she will need funds to purchase her depression medications.  The third item is her short-term expenses.  She needs to have the money to sustain herself at least in the short-term.  Fourth in sequence is employment.  I can assist her in finding a part-time job (no full-time because SSI won’t allow it).  With these four steps, I feel she will be much happier and will be able to live a self-sufficient life.  I could, if I am willing, modify the plan to add more details.  For example, she can join a support group or club.  I can research agencies around her area who may be able to assist her.  I’m writing this just to give an example of what I think social workers do.

There are more topics I want to write about but I ran out of time.  I will write more later.